[coressat]

Hi all, I'm 21 and I've been going out with my girlfriend for over two and a half years now. She's a private person and only within the past eight months has she opened up to me about her depression. I've never been depressed myself but I have anxiety or am at least am very anxious by nature. I'm in college so we're in a long distance relationship and communicate mostly by Skype and texting.

I don't know what happened, but two days ago she abruptly logged off of Skype and when she came back on later that evening she didn't answer any of my messages or my texts. I realized that something had happened and told her I was here and I loved her, and last night she finally replied that she loved me too but she just wanted to be alone right now. I've been sending her periodic messages since but she hasn't replied to any of them since. I'm worried sick. She's constantly on my mind and I'm on the computer every chance I get, waiting for a message. I keep ruminating and crying because I don't know what - if anything specific - triggered this and I don't know how to help. I miss talking to her so much and the thought that she's going through this hurts.

I guess I don't even know what my question is anymore. I just need some insight on how to best be there for her. Thanks to anyone who responds.

[CANDC]

Hi coressat, I am sorry to hear you are grieving from the situation with your girlfriend.

The most difficult post for me to answer is one about a girlfriend or family member of the member at Psych Central. There is the unknown of what triggered their reaction. Is it a setback in their condition or something else? Do you know her family members well enough to call them up and compare notes about what kind of communication they are getting? Or a mutual friend?

Also take care of yourself. It must be traumatic for you. Some people even get a therapist to help talk things out just to heal yourself.

Here are some articles at Psych Central on how to help a friend.
Psych Central - Search results for Helping a friend in depression

Remember to take care of your own self too.

[healingme4me]

You are deserving of some explanation. Which of course, if she needs time to be alone, asking for an explanation now versus later would appear counter productive. When she comes back from being withdrawn, having a future involves letting her know that space is fine, but space needs consideration to your worries, as well.

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