[BlessedRhiannon]

I know a lot of folks here are married or in long term relationships, but for those that started a relationship after being diagnosed with a mental illness, when/how did you tell the other person?

I haven't seriously dated anyone in a very long time, but I'm considering getting involved with someone. I don't think it's necessary to tell him on the first date. I would wait until I know the relationship has a decent chance. But, I think it would be important for the guy to know I have bipolar disorder. I've told friends, so it's not a big secret for me. I don't want it to be a big deal, but I don't want to hide it either.

I guess I'm just looking for other peoples' experiences. Was it a deal breaker? How long did you wait to tell them?

[sideblinded]

BlessedRhiannon, I think this is a great question and I would love to hear other's experiences on this as well.

[JaneTennison1]

I would wait a bit but not too long, let them get a sense of who you actually are rather than form an opinion based on any misinformation they have about your illness. My spouse and I were friends first and I was going through an anxious spell so about 2 months into friendship I told them the full extent of everything. It went well obviously as 10 yrs later here we are. Good luck!

[LonesomeTonight]

I'd say wait a few dates, till you feel it's someone you think you'd want to be involved with. And then ease into it--talk about how you're treating it, whether counseling, medication, or both. If he's the right person for you, he'll want to understand and listen. Hugs!

[wotchermuggle]

If it was me, I'd wait until I could tell whether or not I could see the relationship being long term or not before diving head in with that type of information.

I have bipolar (2) as well but my major symptom is anxiety. If probably drop that info first to test the waters. I'd admit to having anxiety and admit that I see someone about to keep things in check.

No need for you to rush into telling anyone your whole life story right away.

[Lauliza]

For me, I think it's good to wait until the relationship is serious and both has potential for long term commitment. An exception may be when there is behavior that might be confusing to a partner and disclosing the reason behind is helpful or necessary for things to continue...

[Raindropvampire]

I was very upfront but I still waited until the end of the second date. I figured if it didn't work out and there was no third date they didn't need to know my personal business. But if the second date is going to lead to a third and so on so I figure I might as well be upfront and let them decide whether to continue. I have been married for 7 years so apparently my system worked for me

For what it's worth I never had anyone freak out when I told them or say they couldn't date me because I was bipolar. I did have several ask if I took medication, how often I got manic, general explanation of what bipolar is etc.. but no freak outs or being dumped because of it so that was good.

My hubby actually started crying when I told him. I asked if he was ok and he told me about his MI issues and said it's just nice to not have to worry and stress about when to tell you.