[stephiifaye92]

Lately I've been feeling like I need to find myself And a career that wouldn't make me embarrassed to say what I do. I feel like my whole life I've been kicked while down, just constantly having set backs. Just in the last year, I have had a child, my father passed away and I've been on medical leave for surgery for two months and I go back to work tomorrow.
I'm 22 so there's still time for me to find who I am but I feel as I need to act soon. When I initially went on my leave, they gave me painkillers, which I hate, and my boyfriend would not stop giving me **** for nof helping with our son. I had a screw put in my toe and my tendon cut on the next, so it was pretty detrimental surgery. He didn't give my son a bath for two weeks - because I finally did when I was off the crutches. He didn't help with anything around the house, claiming he was overwhelmed with just taking care of our son. We got in a fight and he hounded me for an hour, to, inside and from the doctors office. His solution is always "I'll sleep in the other room" or "I can go to my sisters for the night if you want" I feel like we shouldn't even be together anymore, I have to hide every conversation with another person because even if it's a "hi how are you" he won't let it go. But of course we share a child and I feel obligated to stay. Its kind of sad, but I wish something would just happen so that I don't have to take the blame for everything but we could go our separate ways.

I feel guilty for everything, even when I know I shouldn't. I do everything around the house, did while I was in a boot cast, and will continue to do even while working an 8.5 hr day. I feel so overwhelmed and underappreciated. Not to mention when I called my work a week and a half before my scheduled return, I was asked if I was even coming back at all. Which there were no grounds to ask me that, I haven't done anything wrong to my employer. Also when I went in to get my schedule, I found that they had given someone else my locker. So I feel unwanted from every angle and feel like I need a new start to life that I feel like I'll never get.

[healingme4me]

It's not always possible to find career acceptance. There's just oh so much judgment to go around. A steady job, is a steady job, they just are.
I worked with someone that had a similar foot surgery, ouch!! Hope you feel better.
Your child's father sounds difficult to live with. Just remember even unmarried, he would owe child support, even bare minimum if he walked.
Sorry he's the overbearing type. No wonder you are looking for changes.
You'll find your niche in time. They need to return your locker, that's rude. Was ignorant to ask if returning since you were calling to get your schedule. Young, inexperienced supervisor, I presume?


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[Ruftin]

(((((Stephiifaye92))))) Congratulations on you're new baby!!!! You are so overwhelmed!! You need some time to yourself. Being a new mother is very hard, and with work on top of that sprinkled with a body part malfunction/surgery, and mental challenges, I don't know how you're even typing this.

My goodness, let him sleep in the other room and give yourself a break for one night. Can you give baby to it's grandparents and you have a spa day for yourself??

I get in trouble at work even when I'm not there for 2 weeks. No kidding!!! They probably don't even know the date you left to have the baby. Giving your locker away is just ridiculous!!! They're lucky I'm not you're big sister!!!

I hope you can find some balance. You don't need a new life. You just need to rearrange some things and accommodate the new little one. Best wishes!!!

[stephiifaye92]

Originally Posted by Ruftin

(((((Stephiifaye92))))) Congratulations on you're new baby!!!! You are so overwhelmed!! You need some time to yourself. Being a new mother is very hard, and with work on top of that sprinkled with a body part malfunction/surgery, and mental challenges, I don't know how you're even typing this.

My goodness, let him sleep in the other room and give yourself a break for one night. Can you give baby to it's grandparents and you have a spa day for yourself??

I get in trouble at work even when I'm not there for 2 weeks. No kidding!!! They probably don't even know the date you left to have the baby. Giving your locker away is just ridiculous!!! They're lucky I'm not you're big sister!!!

I hope you can find some balance. You don't need a new life. You just need to rearrange some things and accommodate the new little one. Best wishes!!!

Thank you, my son turns 1 next month. And I usually tell him to do it if he wants to, but then he just ends up spinning a huge Web of unnecessary conversation in bed. As for grandparents, my father passed away and my mother is schizophrenic and legally not supposed to be around children. his mother is in an unsafe baby environment, not anything bad, I just don't think my son spending a night get there would help my stress, and his father is not the baby type and lives with his second wife, her 30 y.o. son and his daughter. Whom doesn't even have her own room, so that's not an option either.

And my manager is younger and inexperienced, yes but when I went on maternity leave it was for the same amount of time (2 months) and there were no problems or questions of if I was coming back at all. I've been working there for 4 years. I just feel so down about both situations, and just life in general. I honestly don't have any idea how there is still any ambition left in me. growing up I had much less than an ideal childhood and am trying to do anything so that my son won't feel the same when he is my age. Its so hard though, be cause I feel like my relationship is bound to only head downhill, we've had so many problems lately. :/

[Ruftin]

Well, you got your son through his first year!! Great job!!!!! Give yourself a pat on the back for that!

You're boyfriend seems to love drama. Sounds like someone I know. My dad. I started telling him if the conversation wasn't positive or helpful I would no longer be discussing it, and I didn't. He finally realized I meant it, but still hasn't stopped being negative. He's narcissistic. May work on your boyfriend though so I thought I'd pass it on.

I'm sorry for the loss of your father. My mother was/is schizophrenic also. I'm adopted and have never met her.

You need a support system with skin on them. Day care???? Friends????