Dating and emotional detachment

As I have entered a lovely but challenging relationship with a dear partner (challenging due to time demands in our jobs) I have been hit directly with the realization that all of these years I have been the one who has been emotionally detached. I cannot figure out exactly when this occurred or if it is something that gradually snuck up on me over the years. I do know that the intense bullying of my childhood had the most impact on it, however, I don't doubt that my father's impatient manner and authoritarian personality traits had some impact on it also.

Then, years of working in Customer Service work when we have ahd to be smiling all of the time and simply take the crap from everybody. Joining youth groups like Scouts Canada and growing up being taught that we have to be polite, smiling all of the time. Cadets, when we had to take crap from seniority figures without the right to yell back. Is it any wonder I face emotional detachment now?

This issue is now directly influencing my relationship today. I feel platonic love. A universal affection for all people. A general caring and concern for others' well-being. I cannot say that I ever feel romantic love for any partner though. That emotion is nonexistent in me. My present partner can sense this in me. I feel appreciation for him, I feel caring for him and pleasure when we have contact. However, I can never recall feeling that emotional high that comes with special emotional connection with another person. I feel emotionally disconnected in that manner; like it is nonexistent.

Having been diagnosed with AvPD (Avoidance), this emotional detachment is the strongest feature and is impacting this possibly excellent relationship. Where do I go from here?

Have you considering speaking to a therapist or councelor about this feature of your PD? There may be some therapies that are able to help you break that emotion and help you feel connected.

Have you seen, this thread, yet? I'd saved it, because of the book list. With another PC member, with AvPD, perhaps, these are books to help find answers and solutions?

http://forums.psychcentral.com/avoid...3-naivete.html

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Thank you very much. I will look these sources up.