[Artchic528]

Well, are they?

[Wren_]

Seems to depend a bit on those involved, for me online friendships are real as an example but I know some who consider it less so ...
Are they real for you?

[Artchic528]

Nope. I'm just wanting a concensous. I don't believe that two people who've never met in the flesh can truly say they are in a relationship.

[healingme4me]

My therapist refers to it as a fantasy effect. Since, it seems this is referring to romantic relationships, I'd say without actually meeting and spending time together in real life, it lacks the ability to know chemistry, pheromones and such.
Not that two people aren't really caring nor investing time and energy.
The word 'real' could be debated with semantics, otherwise point taken.

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[hvert]

I have several online friendships that are 20 years old. I have met just about all of my pen pals except for one.

I think people can do what makes them happy. Plenty of IRL relationships don't seem all that 'real' to me, but if they do to the people involved, that's all that matters.

[jaciRock]

I think they can be real friendships but not a real romantic relationship.

[divine1966]

Nope not real. If people met and live far way so they have conduct their communication online between meetings then yes it is real. Otherwise no

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[A Red Panda]

I consider that a decision to be made by the people involved. Just like any other kind of relationship.

[lizardlady]

Depends on what you mean by "relationship."

I've had some very close, very supportive friendships with folks on line. There was little to no chance of us ever meeting face-to-face because we lived in different countries.

If you mean a romantic relationship, that would not work for me. I would eventually want to be with the person face-to-face. That's my answer for me though. For others, I go along with Red Panda, it would be up to the people involved to decide.

[Trippin2.0]

Platonic friendship? Yes, I believe true friendship can be cultivated without meeting face to face. I have a few myself.

Romantic? Nope, I'm sorry, I know many would probably disagree with me, but no way do I consider those actual relationships.
But that's just my opinion.

When two people have never met, never kissed, never held each other, never spent time together doing favourite activities, or doing nothing, never felt the electricity buzzing in the air, never held hands....

Well no, I don't consider that a relationship.

Something to be said for having a so called "online bf" though, no unpleasant surprises...

There's no finding out he has bad breath, no discovering he's super messy, or that his fart smells like sewage.

So maybe online bf's are the perfect bf's!

I personally prefer my flesh and blood bf though

[divine1966]

I'll tell you've read somewhere that people are entering pan pal relationships or online romance or relationships with inmates etc because they are afraid of commitment and this way they never have to truly commit

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Xenon]

Yes, they certainly can be. When people exchange ideas, support each other, play games, joke and tease, etc., that's real relating.They're different from face-to-face relationships, they have limitations, they emphasize different things, a cyberspace relationship may not work well in "meatspace" and vice-versa...but none of that makes them not "real." After all, face-to-face relationships vary a lot also in how people feel connected to each other, what they offer each other, etc., and that doesn't mean only certain kinds are "real."

Yes, it's likely easier to have some mistaken, fantasy idea of who someone is when you only interact online...but that does happen plenty IRL, too.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Well, are they?

They are real limited.

When someone has almost perfect control over what they let you see of who they are, then you do not really know them.

So . . . can you have a real relationship with someone whom you do not really know? Not in my book.

Actually, people on line do not have quite perfect control over what they reveal, and, eventually, who they are can start to leak out. If you know someone online who does not have any major faults, then you do not yet know them, and your relationship with them is not real.

[divine1966]

So how the heck do you have physical intimacy sex or whatnot. Really people you conduct romantic relationship with zero physical contact? Even very elderly couples exchange kiss or hold hands. Seriously people. (Those who said yes)

I believe op referred to romantic relationship not just exchange of ideas

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[unaluna]

I hope you are not being catfished. If someone is asking you to send them money, that is a scam relationship.

[Yogurtz]

I must say that I think it is extremely arrogant for anyone to claim that someone else’s relationship isn’t a ‘real’ relationship. What does a ‘real’ relationship look like exactly? Besides, what gives someone the right to question the validity of someone else’s relationship?

The subject of online relationships is an important one to me; my significant other and I first met on a social networking site. We first connected through a shared interest in current events. She has a Master’s Degree in history and I am writing a book on post-Cold War conflicts and have written dozens of articles for publications and non-profits in Canada, the U.S., the U.K., Australia, and Africa.

It was almost a full year before I was able to board a plane to travel a distance the size of western Europe and then take an 8 hour bus ride to see her. Our visit was short because I had to attend a conference at a university for three days in another city, but what time we did have together I can only describe as beautiful. We connect on such a meaningful level, a level that I have never felt with anyone before, that it felt like we had known each other all our lives

In the summer she will be making a trip out to see me (or at least that is the plan) if we can afford it. Until then we Skype as much as we can and I keep a framed photo of us on my desk in my home office

How dare someone judge our relationship as not ‘real’? Or was it 'imaginary' before we met in person and suddenly became 'real' once we held hands, kissed, and interacted in person?

An example I would like to use is my relationship vs. my sister’s relationships. (She doesn’t consider my relationship to be a ‘real’ relationship herself.)

My sister doesn’t meet or communicate with others online; she finds all her boyfriends (plural) in bars mostly or they are her co-workers. She has had so many BFs, so many one-night stands (even multiple one-night stands in one night!), that my mom and I use numbers to differentiate between all her partners (ex. John 1, John 2, John 3). My mom has said that my sister behaves “like a dog in heat”, having cheated on her fiancé, slept with our cousin’s friend on their wedding day, and even had to find new employment after having slept with most of her male (and probably some female) co-workers. She is the female equivalent of Charlie Sheen – she has money, looks, and is kind of a narcissist.

But because her relationships are all offline and physical they must be ‘real’ relationships, right? Not my relationship built on shared values, interests, and love for each other.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Yogurtz

I must say that I think it is extremely arrogant for anyone to claim that someone else’s relationship isn’t a ‘real’ relationship. What does a ‘real’ relationship look like exactly? Besides, what gives someone the right to question the validity of someone else’s relationship?


The subject of online relationships is an important one to me; my significant other and I first met on a social networking site. We first connected through a shared interest in current events. She has a Master’s Degree in history and I am writing a book on post-Cold War conflicts and have written dozens of articles for publications and non-profits in Canada, the U.S., the U.K., Australia, and Africa.


It was almost a full year before I was able to board a plane to travel a distance the size of western Europe and then take an 8 hour bus ride to see her. Our visit was short because I had to attend a conference at a university for three days in another city, but what time we did have together I can only describe as beautiful. We connect on such a meaningful level, a level that I have never felt with anyone before, that it felt like we had known each other all our lives


In the summer she will be making a trip out to see me (or at least that is the plan) if we can afford it. Until then we Skype as much as we can and I keep a framed photo of us on my desk in my home office


How dare someone judge our relationship as not ‘real’? Or was it 'imaginary' before we met in person and suddenly became 'real' once we held hands, kissed, and interacted in person?


An example I would like to use is my relationship vs. my sister’s relationships. (She doesn’t consider my relationship to be a ‘real’ relationship herself.)


My sister doesn’t meet or communicate with others online; she finds all her boyfriends (plural) in bars mostly or they are her co-workers. She has had so many BFs, so many one-night stands (even multiple one-night stands in one night!), that my mom and I use numbers to differentiate between all her partners (ex. John 1, John 2, John 3). My mom has said that my sister behaves “like a dog in heat”, having cheated on her fiancé, slept with our cousin’s friend on their wedding day, and even had to find new employment after having slept with most of her male (and probably some female) co-workers. She is the female equivalent of Charlie Sheen – she has money, looks, and is kind of a narcissist.


But because her relationships are all offline and physical they must be ‘real’ relationships, right? Not my relationship built on shared values, interests, and love for each other.

Of course your relationship is real! Yours is a long distance relationship. That's why I said if people conduct their communication online between meetings due to being far away from each other of course it is real. Arctic was referring to people who strictly stay online and never met (I am pretty sure that's what she meant) she wanted our opinions.

Most people replied that relationships strictly online are not real. That's our opinion, others might disagree.

Your sister is extreme case. Sorry it must be embarrassing! She is sleeping around. Honestly I don't know if her relationships are real or if yours is (I hope it is but I don't know enough). This thread is just a general question not about specific individual relationship of specific members.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Creamsickle]

No they are not real speaking for myself. If you combine on-line & meeting once in a while then I'd say that was a part-time r/s which works well for people who travel a lot on business.

[~Christina]

Personally I think a "friendship" can be formed certainly, I love the friends I have met online from around the world.

As for a Romantic online relationship, well I think if there are plans to meet this person irl then sure ldr online can work. But if there is no way to actually met and physically touch that other person and your only means of communications is talk, text and skype. I can't picture that working long term, Humans need for touch is something that eventually is a must have for *most* people.

Every situation is different of course. But for me this is how I feel.

[Shadix]

Why wouldn't they be? Who decides what a "real" relationship is anyways? Sure they are not the same as in person relationships, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't count as relationships. Personally though, online relationships aren't my thing. I pretty much insist on meeting girls in person. That may change, but that's the way I am now.

[Jimwash]

No, I don't think so.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by Yogurtz

I must say that I think it is extremely arrogant for anyone to claim that someone else’s relationship isn’t a ‘real’ relationship. The subject of online relationships is an important one to me; my significant other and I first met on a social networking site....How dare someone judge our relationship as not ‘real’?

You and your GF have a LDR, you actually spend time together offline. That's different to the question the OP asked. And FTR, nobody is judging you or anyone else, we are simply stating our personal opinions.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Creamsickle

No they are not real speaking for myself. If you combine on-line & meeting once in a while then I'd say that was a part-time r/s which works well for people who travel a lot on business.

That I would call long distance relationship. Very common

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Confusedinomicon]

I don't agree because I was in a strictly "online" relationship with no intention to meet SO at first. I wouldn't say the experience was "less" real to me and I never considered him just the "online" bf before we met.

I do agree, though, at some point you have to meet in person and there has to be definite plans of being physically together.

[Randle McMurphy]

well it can certainly feel real to the people involved in them. what if two people declare they are in an online relationship, does that mean their relationship doesn't exist? it's a little bit to disrespectful to invalidate something so important to those that consider themselves in a relationship. it's a bit like saying someone isn't a musician if they don't practice or learn in a conventional way. it can work for some people, so hey why not!? I can understand if it's not how you might consider it to be for a relationship, you may have different needs and everyone is different. but people seem to give the impression that they think it's impossible for everyone and I don't believe that. there are people that develop relationships with death row prisoners, they aren't going to be intimate with them. they might see them or speak with them in person but its going to be pretty limited to put it mildly. yet they consider themselves in a relationship with that person.
i've seen people vouch for it and say it was real for them. who am I to say it's not real?