[skinny118]

I have been in an off and on relationship for about 3 years now. I really need to move on since he is unwilling to change his lifestyle and I do not want to live this way. I've told him how I feel so many times (beat a dead horse). He says he understands and if the shoe were on the other foot, he would be upset too.

I guess, why should he change if I keep coming back? I cannot seem to end it for good. What do I do?

[divine1966]

On and off never works. It is either on or it has to end. If his life style not suitable for you then move on. Good luck

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One option is to move on, and meanwhile - if he really loves you deeply he will make the lifestyle adjustment and then come back to fight for you - but don't dwell on this, you could realize you are much better off without him anyways.

Another option is to try to help him make the adjustment but I get the sense you've tried this several times and it hasn't helped. Is this correct? Could you do something different if you were to try one more time?

[skinny118]

Originally Posted by NewLyfeForReal

One option is to move on, and meanwhile - if he really loves you deeply he will make the lifestyle adjustment and then come back to fight for you - but don't dwell on this, you could realize you are much better off without him anyways.

Another option is to try to help him make the adjustment but I get the sense you've tried this several times and it hasn't helped. Is this correct? Could you do something different if you were to try one more time?

Yes, I've tried several times to help him make the adjustment, it hasn't helped. I probably need suggestions on how to be firm and move on.

Take some time to find a new focus for your life. Take up some new hobbies or ones you have really enjoyed but haven't done in a while. Treat yourself to a little something nice. And when you're ready, get back on the dating scene! I believe each person has a soulmate somewhere out there. He just isn't the one. Keep positive.

Most importantly, take things slowly. One step at a time. Breathe in breathe out. You can do this!

[kathymendoza]

If he really loves you he will change his lifestyle and that itself will be a proof for you, otherwise be strong and move on. Life never stops for any one.