Need Some Insight

I have a friend who would go to the ends of the earth for me, and I her. But there is one thing she does and I don't understand it from a personality standpoint and would like to better handle the situation.

She frequently likes to portray, publicly, that she is a private individual. But she really is not since she shares so many of her life stories, at length, with just about anyone. However, oftentimes, I will say something out loud in front of others (ex: are you ready to go?) and she will give me the shut up look, because others don't know. I never know what I can say to her in front of others; and just when I think I'm doing good and don't say anything that I believe is encroaching on her privacy, she will give me the look and shush me.

Is this passive aggressive behavior? Why does a person do this?

This is a very good question skinny118.

I am unable to speak on your friend's behalf as I am unsure.

So I can only offer personal insight when I react the same way that your friend does.

I have certain topics that I don't like discussed with others.

I have friends that I don't mind discussing it with though.

So I guess it can be somewhat confusing as to be able to distinguish when is appropriate public knowledge.

For me, it's not about the "little topic / issues".

I'm personally meaning rather deeper issues that aren't ALL public knowledge, just something I may have shared with with a few select friends.

So I guess this is difficult.

Because she seems to be calling you up on smaller things that you really wouldn't know in advance wasn't appropriate to say.

I'm not sure what advice to give here.

I mean you could try quietly communicating with her, on a one on one.

And letting her know that you are a bit unsure and you do not want to over step her personal boundaries by relaying information to others that you were not meant to relay.

On the other hand, if you do try and engage in a one on one conversation with her, she may think "Well why does she NOT know what is appropriate / inappropriate to say in front of others if she knows me that well?" Just wanted to put that risk out there.

Best wishes.

This is a tricky one.

This is a very good question skinny118.

I am unable to speak on your friend's behalf as I am unsure.

So I can only offer personal insight when I react the same way that your friend does.

I have certain topics that I don't like discussed with others.

I have friends that I don't mind discussing it with though.

So I guess it can be somewhat confusing as to be able to distinguish when is appropriate public knowledge.

For me, it's not about the "little topic / issues".

I'm personally meaning rather deeper issues that aren't ALL public knowledge, just something I may have shared with with a few select friends.

So I guess this is difficult.

Because she seems to be calling you up on smaller things that you really wouldn't know in advance wasn't appropriate to say.

I'm not sure what advice to give here.

I mean you could try quietly communicating with her, on a one on one.

And letting her know that you are a bit unsure and you do not want to over step her personal boundaries by relaying information to others that you were not meant to relay.

On the other hand, if you do try and engage in a one on one conversation with her, she may think "Well why does she NOT know what is appropriate / inappropriate to say in front of others if she knows me that well?" Just wanted to put that risk out there.

Best wishes.

This is a tricky one.

I think you need to talk with her about this.