[confused personell]

I am a boy coming from a country where having sexual acts before marrage is still a taboo. But being highly qualified i am ok with it and so are the people i am around. Ive had a few sexual encounters before but they all have had limits. I have never dated anyone. I have neva gone beyond d second base on a girl. Ive had 3 such experiences. And i havent done anything against thier wish(friends with benifts). And I know a girl from a year or two. I knoe her through my best friend as she used to like him. But they did not date as my friend is not into dating. He has many frienss with benifts and happy with a life like that. After they stoppd talking i somehow started feeling for this girl and she started feeling the same. Even she has never dated anyone which i was attracted too. But recently i got to know that she made out with my friend 3rd base aswell..and that was for 10 months without dating. Now it haunts me evrytime. Even though we have just started spending time with her i like her, but the things my friend told me they haunt me real bad. And i cant leave this female because of her past .i really like her. How am i suppose to deal with this?

[Lackadaisical.me]

I can't remember where I heard this but I thought it was great advice.
“People have two sides, a good side and a bad side, a past, a future. We must embrace both in someone we love.”

[IceCreamKid]

I suggest you discuss this issue with your parents. They can advise you better than anyone here.

Most of the people who post on this board are from Western countries and are probably going to answer from a different cultural perspective than you have.

Having said that, I think that it was very bad of your friend to tell you these things (if he did it after you started liking the girl.) The only reason I can think of that it would be okay for him to say things about the girl is if he thought she was a bad person and did not want you, his friend, to be with her.

When you say "10 months" I have no idea how many encounters you are talking about.

Are you able to tell if it bothers you more that the girl was with your friend or if it was because of what she did? Do you worry that she has more sexual experience than you do? Or is it all mixed together?

From my point of view, the slight difference in your sexual experience isn't important.

I would guess that this girl probably wanted to date your friend but that it didn't happen. That is only a guess on my part, though, and I wouldn't recommend that you ask her about it. It would probably make her feel bad. If you keep seeing her, she may tell you on her own or she may not.

You sound like a principled person and like you are trying to be fair. I think that is very good.

[confused personell]

Thank you for the sharing yoy point of view to my problem. And i feel a lot better now. I have discusses this issue with her and asked for a little time from her to be normal like i was always. And she has agreed to it. I still imagine things my friend told me. But i will try my level best to get over It .