[timlax]

Hello, my name is Tim. I've been dating my girlfriend for quite a few months now but I cannot seem to shake the feeling that she isn't being honest with me and I don't fully understand why.
Basically; I find myself thinking extremely hard about little things she does, and quite frankly, it didn't start until after about 1 month in. I started thinking very worst case scenario and I've completely taken a 180 degree turn and am extremely pessimistic.
I do not mean to make myself seem snooty, but I know that for a young adult I definitely had my life lasso'ed and still maintain very high confidence. I met my girlfriend and we took off like young lovers do. I kept her happy, kept my life in line, and everything followed suite. Then suddenly I began thinking very worst case scenario, and little things she would do would trigger bad thoughts. She may disappear unexpectedly from a text conversation for 15 minutes and the whole time I'd be presuming the worst, sometimes even the C word. (Cheating)
After a few weeks of on and off, I finally confessed how I feel to her. She has been amazing with her help and I can say it helped me in the beginning.
Shortly after, it started up again but this time I would tell her when I feel a certain way and she would help. I practiced some things I saw online like having her share small details about her day to me, and devoting time to talking to her. It helped me symptomatically, but I am now here for the obvious; I still get very anxious and I usually assume she is being unfaithful

I'm new to this. She is my first real deal. I can honestly say that I am in love with her. I know she hasn't done anything wrong to me, but why do I feel this way sometimes? Why do I presume she is cheating or lying or being unfaithful with me? I'm coming to you all with hope you can help me, or atleast steer me in the right direction.

My amateur self-diagnosis is that I am afraid to lose her in the same fashion I have lost girlfriends before. Very early on in my post-pubescent life, I dated girls who I discovered cheated on me very early in the relationship and it steered me away from relationships til now. I've had interaction with women during that time, but this is my first time dating in about 2 years.

Could this be why I get anxious?
What are some things I can do to stop these "thoughts"?

I think most important is I haven't given up hope in myself. I have overcome harder circumstances, I just don't know what I can do. I know it's going to require more than just a simple fix.

Thanks in advance.
Tim

I think this boils down to some heavy intrusive thinking, fear of something new, and some severe anxiety about the relationship. Ask yourself this. Has she hurt you? Has she given you any reason not to trust her? You really need to try and let go of these thoughts if you answered no to those two questions. You may try speaking with a professional to see if you can get to the root of these feelings. I understand you have been hurt in the past, but she isnt those girls. And to think of her in the same light as those that have hurt you before isnt fair to your girlfriend. I understand that when you have been kicked by others its hard to see the positive. I have been there so I understand how it feels, but if you want your current relationship to work, you have to get over your past.

[Keyslost]

This sounds like my first time dating. First of all its sounded like she didn't do anything specific just that she's so awesome that you're worried? The best advice that I can offer is to remember that excessive worry can hurt the relationship too. Is there anything you can do to keep yourself busy? Forcing the mind to focus on something else can keep those thoughts away. Exercise helps a lot you can go run and by the time you're done you'll think to yourself I feel great and those negative thoughts were silly. It's cool that you're both talking about it depending on her personality she'll take that as a compliment but be careful about excessive communication as she may take that as distrust. The reason I know that is bc I've also been in her shoes as well. Hope this doesn't sound harsh not my intention you can msg me if you want to and then I can be like naw dawg don't worry it's cool