[DestarKnight]

I recently had a friend who in an attempt to help me deal with all the crap I'm going through, asked me to write her two letters. The first was to tell her what I hated about myself, which is only on a message I sent her on Facebook. The other was what I wanted in life. That one is on my computer, and I'm going to post it on here. Now I am leaving out the names, but here it is.

This is what I wanted before I got pushed past the point of no return. I wanted two things above all else. To begin with I wanted a family. Not the ******** family I was born into where you get used and abused because of who or how you are. A family where your brother comes to you with all of his problems expecting you to handle them and not say one thing about it. Where your mother tries to beat part of you away, just because she doesn’t like where it came from. Where she believes that downing you for who you are is right because she wants you to be better than you father. I wanted a family based in love and respect. I wanted to raise my children to reach for the sky and claim the stars by accident. I wanted a wife who was happy she met me, and glad I was the one who got her to say yes. A wife that loved me and was proud of me, and knew that I was proud and deeply in love with her. I wanted a wife who would be my partner in all things. I wanted my children to never be scared to come to us, to always believe we were there no matter how far away we were. I know things would never be perfect, but I wanted the bond to be amazing. The second thing was to share my imagination with the world. I didn’t need a lot of money; enough to make a decent living would’ve been plenty for me. But I wanted to inspire others to create worlds all their own, and help the world become a wonderful place, full of ideas and inspiration. A simple life, with a strong loving family, was all I ever really wanted. But now, all I see is darkness. I don’t want anything. I don’t care for anything. I don’t feel anything. All I want is bliss and death. That way I no longer have to suffer. That way I don’t get hurt over and over again. Hope was my last bit of strength and it took a while, but it’s gone, and can’t be replaced. At this point, I want nothing at all.

[healingme4me]

Your friend seems to have forgotten the third letter, what you like about yourself.
Sorry life is a struggle now...

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[Keyslost]

Sorry to hear that Des sounds like a tough time for you right now. I agree with healing, you should tell us what you like about yourself Des

[Crazy Hitch]

I live my life by knowing who I am.

All else.

Is irrelevant.

[Footnote - I am a good person; even though I make mistakes. There are many things that I want in my future. I will achieve them. Because I know who I am and I know that I am great enough to achieve them.]