[tabzzz]

I'm 39 going through a divorce. Its over 2 years that we've been separated. I live in the house and she with her parents. we were married for 8 years and most of it was below average, no highs and no lows, we were not very compatible. She is a very quiet person, very shy, very introverted. We didn't communicate very much.
She didn't make me happy but in the same return didnt hurt me too much either. She still loves me to death and doesn't want the divorce. I know she would never cheat on me. I was always missing something with her. She is very naive and inexperienced and i tried to work it out but she was very passive aggressive.

I checked out 2-3 years into the marriage but stayed in it for fear of shame, guilt, and feeling sorry for her. she was alone, no friends or family here. she was suffocating me and didn't allow me to have a life. She still wants (or wanted until very recent) to make it work.

I was dating a girl for the past 7 months. Things started out really good, lots of fun, no expectations, great times together and slowly things started to go bad with her. I just recently sold the marital home and it was tough emotionally and the new girlfriend is having real problems with my divorce now. Ive been open and honest and told her about it on the second day we ever went out. Ive kept her up to date and reassured her about the divorce all while we've been together.

With the house sale i told her it was tough emotionally and the next 1-2 months will be hard with packing, moving and finding a new place. She turns to me and says i can't support you emotionally as its something from my past and something she can't control and i have to do it by myself. This really hurt me.

Fast forward a week and i will admit things have not going very well the last 1-2 months we get into a fight and break up. I said things, she said things and i think its over for good.

Now i'm starting to have mixed emotions and keep thinking of my soon to be ex wife and questioning if I've made a mistake wanting to divorce her.

my question is..... why is being hurt with the current girlfriend and the selling of the house bringing up these emotions re the soon to be ex-wife?
I can't stop thinking about her. Mind you she is 5000km away back home and been there for 3 months now. Is it because i think she is finally moving on as for the last 2 years she been wanting us to get back together.

I am super confused re these emotions.

please help

[Puglife]

I'm sorry you are going through a rough time. It sounds like you should take time to be alone and work through the emotions of your divorce. You spent 8 years in a marriage that didn't make you happy, why waste more time in an unpleasant relationship? Take the time to figure out what you want. Good luck.

[tabzzz]

Originally Posted by Puglife

I'm sorry you are going through a rough time. It sounds like you should take time to be alone and work through the emotions of your divorce. You spent 8 years in a marriage that didn't make you happy, why waste more time in an unpleasant relationship? Take the time to figure out what you want. Good luck.

Good point.

I recently read up on Histrionic Personality Disorder and think by current girlfriend may have this.