[Somethinglikethis]

I have this friend. we have actually become very close. Most of the time I feel really comfortable around her and we can talk about anything... But then there's other times when I'm having a bad day and I don't want to talk to her. I avoid her and talking to her. I just feel so far away when I have a bad day and I don't know what to do. I think she gets offended that I don't want to come to her for comfort, or to talk to. As much as I'd like to feel that trusting of her, I am really afraid she is going to tell someone whatever I tell her. What do I do?

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Somethinglikethis

I have this friend. we have actually become very close. Most of the time I feel really comfortable around her and we can talk about anything... But then there's other times when I'm having a bad day and I don't want to talk to her. I avoid her and talking to her. I just feel so far away when I have a bad day and I don't know what to do. I think she gets offended that I don't want to come to her for comfort, or to talk to. As much as I'd like to feel that trusting of her, I am really afraid she is going to tell someone whatever I tell her. What do I do?

First off, you say you've become very close. The fact that she doesn't understand the way that you deal with difficult times says you may not be nearly as close as you think you are. in my mind closeness does not mean spending tons of time together alone but having an intimate understanding of the other person. As in, a good friend and accepting one would not be offended by your behavior if it is the way that you deal with things typically. She would know not to take it personally.

how to deal with this? talk to her when you're feeling better and able to talk. make it clear to her in a kind way that this happens to be the method by which you deal with tough things, difficult times and crises. help her to understand ahead of time, before it happens again, tht you do not want her to take it personally and that it has everything to do with you and nothing to do with her. It's just how you cope. With good communication, and kind, supportive words I think you can alleviate her feelings of betrayal when you are not communicative.

Let her know you'll talk to her when you're ready but just because you can't talk at times does not say you dislike, hate or do not want to be around her ever again.

Hope this helps.