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jasmine30
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Heart May 13, 2015 at 11:18 PM
  #1
Hello, Asking those who are married or in long term relationship. If you can help by answer these questions: What did you get for your husband/wife or SO for B-day, please give some ideas.
Like what your plan for your spouse B-Day? What you buy for him/her as gifts?
I mean beside the obvious, you know, sex...
Can you please share what did you get/or do for your Spouse/SO B-day? so I can get ideas and learn more from you, thank you.

If you have time and want to help give me ideas on what to get for my husband B-Day, then please read on.

If not, then appreciated if you can help by answer the questions above on what would be an ideal way to show your spouse your appreciation to him/her on their B-Day.



------------------------------------------
My husband will be turning 30 years old, yah! He finally catch up with me--his wife because I'm 30, and I always feel bad that he is younger than me 1 year.
I have a husband that is kindda hard to buy him gifts, he just not the typical guy. He doesn't have much hobbies. He have alot of "self-controlled" and he very 'level-headed"
I explained below, as I not sure what to get him for his B-Day

Husband is a hygiene freak and he is a health freak. He does not drink, he does not smoke, not even smoke a cigarette a cigarette.
He's quite sensitive when it come to the drinking alcohol topic. Because lost his older sister in a car crash accident caused by a drunk driver. He hates drunk drivers, no way he will let any alcohol in his bloodstream.

He work for a Truck company. Being a local Truck driver required No DUI, No DOT violations, passed all drugs or alcohol test. Passed all background check, and passed all random drugs test too.
So working at this job, drugs and drinking is out of the question for him. So no Whisky, no beer, no alcohol as present for his B-Day, not an option.

His dad deceased when he as young, so he works alot to help out his mom. He responsible with money, he make sure he put money in his Saving account every month. He have perfect Credit scores. He Debt-free, never have Credit-card debt.
None of us have any kind of debt, we both debt-free and I like both of us to stay this way.
I don't think he wants to open another Credit-cards, he not a big spender.

He have a big Van car, and a motorcycle. Which both he bought with his own money and pay it off himself, he had these prior to met me.
He doesn't need another car or motorcycle for his B-Day.

He doesn't really have much hobbies. He doesn't like to play Video games, he have zero interest in video games. And I never saw him play it, just not his thing.

He also never go online, unless he needs to put in an online application for a job. He already have a laptop, he doesn't need another one when he never go online.
All communications are through his Cell phone, perhaps I should get him a new cell phone for his B-Day?

He doesn't even like to watch TV unless it is News, he loves loves News. He will died if he don’t watch News on TV for one day, lol
Oh, he loves NFL Football, News and NFL Football would make him happy.

He does have buddies (his childhood friends), but he work so much right now. All he have time for his work long hours, go home shower, eat and sleep, and next day repeat.
I do encourage him to go watch NFL Football with them, because me--his wife doesn't know anything about Football. Perhaps let him freely go hang out with his buddies on his B-day?

He likes to go to Gym to work out, keep his body stay fit and in shape. He 6'1 and he weight 170 lbs, so he is an average weight guy.
He also likes Guns, the both outdoor and indoor shooting ranges. But uh... not something I like.

He loves to read Newspaper. And Books, but he only like 2 type of books, that is “War” book sand “Politics” books.
I did get him a "War" book for his B-Day once, but he pretty much have all the Books that he likes.

And clothes, he have his own 'style' of clothes. So I don't go shopping for his clothes, maybe just a jacket.
Food? he have all different food dishes that I cook for him everyday. Even when he work late at night, I still cook for him in the middle of the night so he can have fresh meals to eat. So cooking for him on his B-Day is like cooking for him everyday, nothing special about it.

He have baby fever, so he probably wants a baby for his B-Day present, lol
But I told him I won't TTC until 2016, I want to spend one year with him before we have a baby.

So that pretty much is my husband. Boring 29-30 years old guy he is right? But he is an awesome husband. He loving and caring to me, he treats me right.
and he working his butt off 2 jobs right now, everyday working 12-14 hours.. so we can have enough money as fast as we can buy a small house in 2016, and TTC
I hate debt, so it me that keep insist on aim at 50% down-payment/Less mortgage, that why he have to pick up a 2nd job, poor guy.

I don't know what to get for my husband his B-day, he pretty much have all the things he needs.
If you have a boring husband like me, what your plan for his B-Day? Like what would you get for his B-Day?
beside the sex, I mean like in gifts, B-Day gifts..

Maybe see if we both can take few days off from work, and go on a mini vacation?
This is our first year together as 'married couple', so I want to do something memorable for his b-day.

We know know each others 4 years total. We live in the same neighborhood; that was how we met, dated and married.
Because our distance is very close, so we do see each others everyday. And when you see each others on the daily basic; so the sparks and flirting would died out fast. The sparks/honeymoon phase pretty much has been over for us since long time ago. I'm thankful that he still find me attractive after he married me.
BUT then I have no idea what to do for his b-day. We just know each know each others so well, there no surprises about us anymore..

Sorry for my bad English grammars, English is my third language.

Last edited by jasmine30; May 14, 2015 at 12:27 AM..
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Default May 14, 2015 at 02:55 PM
  #2
Maybe you can plan going to see a pro-football game together and make a day/night of it? Try to bring some spark back into your relationship. In my experience, romance and some tenderness really is needed throughout marriage. It does come in waves....but I do encourage you to do little things throughout your marriage to show that you care.

Buy some targets & go to the shooting range with him. You might like it! (Just make sure that you wear headphones, to preserve your hearing)

Those are just a few ideas for you to think about. Best wishes to you!

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Default May 14, 2015 at 06:47 PM
  #3
People honestly think SEX is a gift?!?!

That's so wrong on so many fronts....
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Default May 15, 2015 at 03:42 AM
  #4
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Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey View Post
People honestly think SEX is a gift?!?!

That's so wrong on so many fronts....

I think it was a joke because no way people think this way seriously, my initial reaction was too: "say what?????" Lol

As about gifts I am really good in buying clothes for men (yes right size right style etc). I pretty much dress not only significant others but also my brother and my two nephews are at least partially dressed by me lol but that's because we all like clothes. If he doesn't like clothes then nice watch and maybe with engraving.

I do have a bit of a concern over sparks dying after only 4 years and less than a year after getting married, didn't you marry this winter? Of course sparks fades but you said yours is gone long time ago? Ouch. I hope you didn't mean it

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jasmine30
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Default May 15, 2015 at 04:42 AM
  #5
Thank you Ms. "shezbut" for your suggestions and advice. Thank you again, noted and will follow your advice.

Sorry "ChipperMonkey", English is my third language so perhaps some of my grammars tenses are not clear.
About the sex, I didn't mean it like that. I means is that I want to give him something more than just sex.
I could give him money or gift cards for his B-day so he can go buy whatever he wants, but I want to be something that can creates memories between us.

Our sex life is fine. My husband---he can get itimacy and sex whenever he wants; it doesn't have to be his B-Day or holidays.
As his wife, NEVER once I say No to him when it come to intimacy stuff. I know and understand that he---as a man need those.
It is my duty to satisfy his sexual needs. Whenever he initiate sex, I always give it to him so he can be happy. No problem

To "divine1966", sorry must be my bad English so the way I use some wording is not every clear.
What I means was that me and him--we from the same neighborhood. I'm the girl in his neighborhood. So he is my neighbor, my friend, my boyfriend, and now is my husband.
And with such close distance, and 4 years knowing others, dated and married. We always see each others everyday, so usually the spark/honeymoon phase would died out by now.

I think you read this thread of mine, I saw you reply to it.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/relat...ackground.html
My husband have not change, he still the loving and caring guy that I know before.
I do have emotional baggage from the abusive mother I had in my childhood. I'm still trying to work that out, the problem is within me---myself, not my husband.

Anyways, I was thinking a weekend trip with my husband, but he working 2 jobs now, so he got to work on weekends too.
Maybe see if my husband can get a day off. I feel terrible that he working 12-14 hours everyday. A week he only got half a day off before he have to left for his 2nd job.

Heck, I'm his wife and I see him less now as a husband than compared to when he was my boyfriend. When we dating, he work 1 job. Now we married, he work 2 jobs.
I wish 2016 come soon so we can buy our small house, then he be back to work 1 job, and we will TTC and I can have more time with him.

I make this thread apart from asking for B-day gifts suggestions. I also wants to learn from others, like how they and their spouse spend the "B-Day" day; and what they get/or do for their spouse B-Day, the marriage life, etc...
I'm still a newlywed, so I still have plenty to learn from those long-term marriage couples out there.

Last edited by jasmine30; May 15, 2015 at 06:54 AM..
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Default May 15, 2015 at 04:53 AM
  #6
I see. Oh my he works too much. I myself work two jobs right now but heck 12-14 hours a day every day no break can't be good not just for romance or quality of life but for his health! Must he work like that? Do you work so much too? I don't even know him and feel bad.

Get the two of you a day at a spa or something since he works too much or maybe massage. Or maybe s gift would be for him to suggest he cuts his hours?

My brother worked like that last year trying to pay off debt but he has three kids and his wife can't work ( long story), I thought he was going to have heart attack. Luckily it only lasted a year and now it us back to normal

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jasmine30
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Default May 15, 2015 at 05:06 AM
  #7
I work 1 job, my husband work 2 jobs. Him working 2 jobs, is just only for one year till 2016

The reason why he working 2 jobs now is because we want to save money as fast as we can so we can buy a small house in 2016
If financial goes as plan, we will have enough money by 2016, and then he be back to work 1 job.

Right now we live in a not so good environment neighborhood. But the cheap rent here sure helps us save up more money every month.
We're two adults poor living here is okay, BUT we don't want to raise a newborn baby here---in the environment full of gangs, drugs and violence.
We do want the best for our future children, that is why we obsess with saving up money for our future.

We both have perfect Credit scores. Both are Debt-free, we never have Credit-card debt neither.
None of us have any kind of debt, we happy! We both like and want to stay Debt-free. And none of us are big spender, so it helps alot.

Right now he working so much just to put money into Saving, so we can have enough money to buy our small house. And of course to save money rainy days, and to save money for a baby next year.
After 2016, he will be back to work 1 job, so we better start saving up as much as we can now.

His dad deceased when he was young, he only have his mother left. His mom health is not so good right now, so he have to help out his mom too.
We both are 2 poor people, and we want a small house, so one of us have to work 2 jobs.
We talk about this prior to marriage, one of us have to sacrifice and he wants to do it.

Last edited by jasmine30; May 15, 2015 at 05:30 AM..
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Default May 15, 2015 at 05:29 AM
  #8
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Originally Posted by HisPresence View Post
He also likes Guns.
Yeah, I was going to suggest that you buy him a gun even before I read this. A lot of guys love guns. Drawbacks are that you don't like them, and statistically you're the one most likely to catch a round in a Pistorius/Steenkamp scenario. If he already has guns, you might please him with a high-quality accessory, like a holster for his pistol or a scope for his rifle. You could also buy him ammunition, which is essential and expensive. I'm precluded by an inconvenient diagnosis from purchasing firearms in my state, but I can buy all the ammunition I want. We give our neighbors gift baskets loaded with boxes of shotgun shells and bottles of bore cleaner at Christmastime. They never thank us, but I know that they appreciate the gesture.
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Default May 15, 2015 at 07:59 AM
  #9
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Originally Posted by HisPresence View Post
Our sex life is fine. My husband---he can get itimacy and sex whenever he wants; it doesn't have to be his B-Day or holidays.

As his wife, NEVER once I say No to him when it come to intimacy stuff. I know and understand that he---as a man need those.

It is my duty to satisfy his sexual needs. Whenever he initiate sex, I always give it to him so he can be happy.
I'm sad to hear you say this. You always have the right to say no to sex, even with your husband. It is not your "duty."

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