[ek1221]

I am about to graduate college and will move back home with my parents in June. My mom is awesome, and I look forward to living with her. My dad is another story. He has a drinking problem but refusing to stop drinking. My parents were very close to getting a divorce this winter, but my mom has decided to make it work. Growing up, my dad and I were not close. I do not even feeling comfortable spending time one-on-one with him, because it's kind of awkward. He is emotionally and verbally abusive, especially when he has been drinking. Out of all my family members, I am the one who stands up to him and tells him that I refuse to be treated that way and that I deserve better. That's another reason why we have such a strange relationship... My question is, what should I say to him before I move back in with him? At this point I am looking at him like a roommate, and I don't want there to be unnecessary tension between us while we live under the same roof. I am willing to apologize for blocking him out, because I know that's something he wants from me, but what else can I do to improve our relationship?

ek1221, I see this is your first post on Psych Central. Welcome to the community!

First, congratulations on graduating college!

Is your father getting professional help for his alcohol addiction? It is crucial that he does.

I am sorry your father has been emotionally and verbally abusive when drinking in the past.

Is it really necessary to say anything before the moment you move back in the house with them? Once you're there I highly encourage you let your father know that you're there to support him to overcome his addiction. Just imagine how strong a bond you two can develop if he allows himself to rely on your support. Get him to see a professional, join an AA group. Has this been considered in the past?

[arundelle]

Look into AlAnon for yourself, definitely.

I would say talk to both your parents and work out the expectations of what will happen while you live there. There is an excellent chance they will want to treat you like a little kid and not the adult you are now, just out of habit. It's way better to talk that stuff through before you move back in.

As far as your father's drinking goes, I'd make that a separate conversation. Again, go to AlAnon and get some tips from people who have been there.