What the hell happened

I don't know what happened.

A girl I liked on skype told me she got a boyfriend and then something sort of snapped inside of me. I had a crush sort of on two girls online. Well a great liking for at the least. When I heard about her boyfriend I felt a great trembling inside of me. Not really rage no.

I ended up laughing and the energy was immense. I didn't know where it came from. I had to start working out immediately. I didn't think I liked her that much! I don't think I really did tbh. Though it set me off and I went and told the other girl I have a crush on that I liked her and thought she was cute. I also told her about the other girl and that was what pushed me to talk to her like this and admit what I felt.

Wowza. A socially anxious person like me went and told another person their feelings about them. Well it was only online and via chat. Then talks of long distance and how BLEH! Long distance is. Am I being for real, and eventually it became a really fun chat. Talked honestly about feelings and such. She told me some personal stuff about herself and it was just wonderful.

I think I really like her even more than before. I felt completely comfortable during the whole 4 hours of chatting. I wasn't anxious at all with her during this whole time. I don't know if it's love or just a very good friendship. We both have similar problems and she thought her *problem* would scare me away but it just allured me more. Very connected I felt. I've never felt such a connection before. I didn't expect any of this to happen.

I am happy for you!
You have had a realization that you can connect to people on a deep level.
If you can connect to one person, you can connect with many, many more.
You are learning and growing

Well I connected because well I dunno. We are similar and I like those who are like me. She is very special I think. Not to sound romantic or anything. I just think she is special to me.

It's not everyday we find people who are so similar to ourselves.
You have both been blessed. I believe it is Love

How sweet.

Emotions are uncomfortable though.

It sounds like a beginning of a good friendship at least but you need to be careful as unless you meet and spend tons time together you can't really know if they are who they say they are. Like the girl who turned out to have bf. They might be married et. Do just be careful

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Yeah we're both anxious so meeting is hard haha. She is more anxious than myself I think at the time being. She told me no I think pretty much haha. It's alright.

Honestly the only way to be with someone is actually BE with someone. Internet communication can only sustain you for that long. It can't replace true relationship. If you are both anxious you both might understand each other better. It is all right if you just want to stay online, I am just unsure for how long it will be enough for you. Good luck though

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Yeah we aren't getting into a relationship haha. At least not now. Just friends which I'm okay with. I can dream anyway. Our chats are fun too.

Ok. Having fun is awesome

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I'm honestly not sure how it is. Where exactly we stand with one another. I'm being really honest. She's being honest. I have no clue where we are but nothing has to happen. Our chats are lovely and enjoyable. We'll chat for hours and I just end up falling in love more and more. She already knows I really like her so it makes things easier and fluid. It feels like a dangerous line because if something were to happen my heart would probably break. We're just friends but I'll admit I'm in love with her and I won't push for more if she doesn't want it. This must be what love is like. It's not sexual at all even though she is beautiful. There are sexual feelings sure but I just feel emotionally connected.

I want her to be happy.

I just wonder if something were to happen how hard will I fall.

I don't believe you can love someone you have never met. Sure you might have some feelings and have lovely chats but to love you need to truly know the person. I don't want to sound unsupportive but in my opinion it is just not possible via Internet. IMHO. I better bail from this thread, maybe others have advice for you

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I know it's silly. Not sure what advice someone could tell me of that I don't already know. I'm well versed in online stuff and know of how to be safe.

I don't even know if I need support. Maybe with the 10 hours of sleep in 3 days thing even with sleep meds/ not eating much.

Can't stop thinking and my heart wants to explode. Not physically but mentally I feel like I can't contain myself I am just so happy feeling.

I probably won't do anything except continue to chat and see where it goes. Very deep infatuation. I won't ask for an internet relationship. I did want her to know that I liked her. Maybe in time I could go see her, who knows.

Maybe this is god's revenge for what I had done in the past but if it is I am okay with it. I mean if she found someone else I'd probably be heartbroken but I don't know. I feel like if she were to become more social she could easily get a person near her and it's also something I fear. I'll definitely try and help her online with her getting better though because I care about her.

Mainly because I see myself in her.

BE CAREFUL!!! good luck too and enjoy yourself!!!

Thanks

haha nevermind.

It's called infatuation, not love. You can't have LOVE without truly knowing someone & even then unless there is a continual being together & seeing how their real behavior is with others & in life situations, you can't even know the person to know if you can truly ever love them.

When I was going into high school (back in 1967), I met this really sweet guy on my train trip from California back to Kansas...he was going all the way back to his home in Ohio. We connected & wrote for 3 years. He came out to California in my senior year of high school & we reconnected. I was SURE IT WAS LOVE.....but he went back to Ohio & I continued to live in Calif. Letters, thinking....wow, love, even talking about getting married when we could finally get together.

LOL....I got a dear John (& yes, his name really was John) letter from him telling me that he found a girl & was getting married that summer (right out of high school).....that was when I realized that .....NO, you can't possibly KNOW someone even with a few meetings because you REALLY DON'T know them. It was at that point in my life that I determined I needed to take care of myself & not get involved with anyone until I got my own life together.

Thought I had....LOL....I dated a lot of guys just as friends & then met this guy when I transferred to the 4 year university. Met him in September. Was rather attracted to him but more because of his intelligence & we had programming major in common. We actually decided that marriage might be ok. He graduated that next spring & it was right after that I saw things in him that hit me as HUGE red flags & I actually told my mother I wanted to call off the wedding....but got talked out of it.......was sorry for 33 years that I didn't listen to my gut feeling.....so even when you are with a person, you have to beware of red flags & issues that might cause relationship problems.

Honestly, there was NO LOVE at all in any of those relationships....it was just infatuation & wishful thinking that the relationship would turn out to be what a loving relationship should be.....you can't feel LOVE until you really KNOW the person & then all the red flags have an impact on whether it's true love or not also & they can make a huge difference as to whether REAL LOVE can ever grow because LOVE is something that grows out of respect for each other & knowing each other & the things that cause respect or not to be there can either cause LOVE to grow, or tear down what love might be there or cause LOVE to never grow in the first place out of the initial infatuation.

So true~~