What can I do about this mess I created?

I’m literally at my breaking point, and I got my own self in this mess. I’m going to be really honest on this post. I was dating this boy a few months back, and we broke up because of “long distance” relationship. Weeks ago he contacted me and we talked, and we had some very explicit chat. We chatted about how we missed each other, and we don’t want to be apart. To be honest, I’ve been sending mixed signals of if I want to be with him or not. All he wanted out the relationship was sex, but when I told him that he just said that he wanted more too. Months back when we were dating, my mother didn’t really like him because she told me that it was obvious that he just wanted one thing. OF course like the dumbass teenager I am, I did not listen to her. I’ve been sneaking off with him to have sex, but we didn’t talk a while after that breakup. I was too lonely and attached to him because I have an insecurity problem. The thing is he didn’t want me telling anyone about us, because he didn’t want people to make a big deal out of it and stuff. I couldn’t even tell my own mother, and my closest friends. I told my friends because I needed to vent about the situation, he found out and he was mad at me because I was supposedly telling people but the only people I told was my closest friends because I can trust them with my own secrets. This guy I “dated” didn’t even want to get to know me at all, never even asked to go out anywhere, and when I try to get to know him he would just say “okay” and “yeah” in his reply. What made me feel so stupid is that I just played along with it like a dumb slut. I’m still afraid of telling the truth of my own mother, and she is going to find out sooner or later when I have to tell her. Another thing was I left another guy and told him I got back with my ex so now he is mad at me as well, and the thing is he didn’t really made me feel bad or had to keep secrets. When I apologized to him before he didn’t accept my apology. I could understand why he wouldn’t. Yesterday when my ex texted me someone told him I was telling someone, even though I wasn’t, I got mad and wrongfully accused the guy I left for this guy.
My friend said to not worry about it, and just leave it alone. She also said that I need to calm down, and just let it go and my ex is just immature Though, I feel like I should apologize for wrongfully accusing the guy I left. There is just so much confusion I’ve made, and I should have left my ex alone because the reason is obvious in this post. I feel like an idiot, but I’m tired of keeping this whole thing we had a secret from people I confide into. I’m tired of him, and I feel like an idiot for going back to him. I’m tired of pretending everything is fine, when it isn’t fine. We all have the same class tomorrow last period, but I was thinking of confronting the situation. I don’t know whether I should do it or not, because they both pretty much hate my guts at the moment. At this point I don’t think either of them would like to hear what I have to say. The school year is nearly over, and I don’t want to leave with a bad taste in anyone’s mouth. I know I may get a lot of “smh this *****” on my post, but I know I ****ed up pretty bad. I’m sorry this is long, I did try to make it short, but I wanted to be honest as possible. I also pushed away so many potential friends for this guy, and they was there to keep me happy. What should I do?

Any guy who insists that your relationship with him be kept secret is not the guy for you.

What do you see as your options?

End things with the guy that is using you, Let the dust settle. Meanwhile work on processing what you have been through and how you will make changes so in the future so you don't repeat the same mistakes. Don't settle.

Welcome to PC

Thank you for both of your help. I would try these things, and right now my options I see is to end things with this guy for good and to make things right with other people.