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#1
Jun 09, 2015, 11:54 PM
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Lets say a person is shy/sensitive and is very careful not to say or do anything rude or disrespectful to those around him. This person responds in a kind friendly manner to everyone who talks to him. BUT, this person comes off as kind of dumb. Like they ask questions about obvious things and make stupid mistakes.
Would many people hate this person and go out of their way to be rude to him, even as he treats them as a friend, simply because of him being dumb? Is this something that often offends people? |
 Anonymous200325, Crazy Hitch
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#2
Jun 10, 2015, 11:50 AM
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I am the last person to ask. I teach special Ed so I am sensitive to people being called dumb. It i unacceptable when people treat others poorly because they have cognitive or whatever other limitations . Hopefully it isn't offensive to others when one has limited comprehension of something. Certainly hating someone because they are different is ridiculous.
Why do you ask? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#3
Jun 10, 2015, 03:52 PM
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Of course not. If someone hates someone because of that or if someone hates someone at all this person has either gone through a personal serious crime/attack from this person or have other issues with her/himself. People who hate for no reason have big problems. There is no reason at all to hate someone, if at all. I dont hate the people who used and abused me. Because hate is not in me.
If someone hate someone or are rude to someone just because that person seems dumb in their eyes, then these people have serious issues. I hope I would never have to get to know or be close to a person who thinks like that. |
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#4
Jun 10, 2015, 05:08 PM
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#5
Jun 10, 2015, 05:41 PM
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Youre assuming people think you are dumb. But if they think you really are smarter than you appear, and are attempting to gain sympathy by acting dumb, then they might feel as if you are trying to fool or control them, and yes this might make them angry. Try to be your best most honest self. Most people will accept that, even if you make mistakes.
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#6
Jun 10, 2015, 07:57 PM
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You have college degree so I assume you have no cognitive limitations. What obvious questions are you asking? If it is about common sense things that others know in your age then try to learn and what stupid mistakes do you make? It depends. I really doubt you are "dumb" (whatever you mean by that). If you are clueless about life then make effort to learn.
I sure hope you aren't acting dumb as hankster suggested. I have a colleague who acts dumb on purpose. I am not kidding. She pretends not to know things so others do things for her. She has masters degree and works the same job for over 10 years. And is smart! It is a convenient tactic. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#7
Jun 11, 2015, 04:21 AM
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I would really hope, in theory that people are not treated unfairly because they are perhaps somewhat more reserved than others
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#8
Jun 11, 2015, 10:26 AM
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Basically I often get the impression that people really don't like me, when I haven't done anything that I imagine would offend anyone. Often times I have barely even interacted with them and they act like they can't stand me. I often say stupid things I think because I am just trying to make conversation and I'm just not good at it. But I don't understand why this would offend people so much. Personally I would have no problem whatsoever with someone even if they were extremely dumb letalone go out of my way to be mean to them.
It is frustrating because I am socially very inhibited for the purpose of not making people dislike me, but I still manage to somehow. Then there are other people who let loose and do what comes naturally and people love them. And no doing what comes naturally will not work for me, I have tried it and the results were not any better. Are some people just naturally unlikable the way they are? If thats the way it is then I have no choice but to hate everyone back. If I have done everything I can to be likable and it doesnt work then the problem cannot be me, it has to be everyone else. |
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#9
Jun 11, 2015, 11:28 AM
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Shadix you just described me I couldn't explain it better myself as I am slow, dumb, limited words & speech, brain damaged, extremely shy not so outgoing like everyone & I'm a high school drop out. People judged me a lot by the way i talk and look growing up that might be why I always try to not make mistakes or say or do dumb things that can hurt them. I feel stuck when Im around people and friends I feel like I'm hardly ever myself. So the answer is yes speaking from experience sad but true. I met people that grew tired of my boring short conversations lol. I get you
Last edited by OtioseM3; Jun 11, 2015 at 11:33 AM. Reason: Add |
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#10
Jun 11, 2015, 06:17 PM
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I think people look at the total package. A person can probably get away with any fault you care to name, if there is something positive to offset it. If people aren't taking an interest in you, I don't think it's because they hate you for being a little slow on the uptake, if that's your tendency. More likely, they are thinking, "I don't get much out of my interaction with this person."
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 Trippin2.0
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#11
Jun 13, 2015, 10:35 AM
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Have you tried therapy?
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#12
Jun 13, 2015, 12:34 PM
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that's been discussed and suggested through and through in many threads. I sure hope so Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#13
Jun 13, 2015, 08:06 PM
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#14
Jun 14, 2015, 06:16 AM
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Immature and ignorant people of all ages and stations in life will hate, ridicule and hurt others whom they deem inferior. The ironic thing is that they really hate and hurt themselves. The best thing to do is stay away from those who intentionally hurt others. 
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#15
Jun 14, 2015, 08:22 AM
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Hmmm? how do one get to quote the qouter who quoted me??? Lol |
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#16
Jun 14, 2015, 08:22 AM
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'a person is shy/sensitive and is very careful not to say or do anything rude or disrespectful' - I think people reflect what they see in you. If you are never say anything sharp or robust, people are likely to treat you without the interest and respect they accord to those who push back a bit, and who take the initiative and do rather more that just 'be friendly'.
Maybe they shouldn't, but I think they do. It is the way of the world. |
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#17
Jun 14, 2015, 08:32 AM
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Shadix when you say you did everything possible to learn better social skills what do you mean by everything. You said you were considering therapy. Did you do it? Professional help might make a difference. It is hard to advice not knowing you and not knowing what's exactly is the problem in your communication with others
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#18
Jun 15, 2015, 02:29 PM
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#19
Jun 16, 2015, 10:18 AM
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What does your t say though? They must have some insight. Something must be there or you wouldn't repeatedly have these issues Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#20
Jun 16, 2015, 11:58 AM
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#21
Jun 16, 2015, 09:48 PM
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What does she say you could do to improve? Do you tell her how people react to you? Does she say anything? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| OtioseM3
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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