[Macd123]

Feel like I'm way too old for this but I had a pleasant exchange this morning with a young lady. She told me I was one of her favorite customers. Oh course this bounced around in my head like the cue ball on a pool table for hours. Sad but I have this tendency to blow whatever positive feedback I get into a tornado that lasts for days - I was actually thinking about going back to see her again. Whoa, I don't know how I got this far living in this sort of amplified moments followed by extended periods of emptiness atmosphere. I'm always amazed when I talk to someone who has been through several relationships and they tell me how lonely they are - I can't relate because most of my best moments have come from people I barely know. When I do hear something that resembles acknowledgement I just want to thank that person for restoring my faith in this struggle if only for a second. I guess what I'm saying is I've never really felt apart of the world everyone else talks about. I live in the basement where it's dark - occasionally the door cracks open ever so slightly and my eyes open. If she only knew how important that moment was to me - thanks.

[kaliope]

i dont know how to put in to words that i understand where you are coming from. i live a very isolated life as well and when someone says/does something letting me know that i am meaningful to them, it really fills me with so much gratitude. i feel so non-existant most of the time and it is such a source of acknowledgement to receive that feedback that they noticed me and i mean something positive to someone's life. it is an awesome feeling. take care.