[thecatalanperson]

Hello everyone!

First and foremost, I wanted to say thank you for ever stopping by to read this. My issues have been happening to me for a while now, to the point where I have never been in a relationship. I am twenty-two years old and I understand I am young but it has been making me miserable. Usually, I will like someone and, although the process might take a while, in the end...most of them like me back. You would figure I would be so happy with that, but when they get close to me and we hang out, I abruptly convince myself that they are not what I want, that I am better off on my own and then everything goes to waste. I think I have a hard time coping with what other people might expect not only from me, but from me and my "partner" (how we behave in public). I am not a girly girl and I have very low self-esteem, so I think that might be one big side of the issue.

Recently, a boy I was convinced I liked (and maybe like) told me that he fancied me and all I was capable of doing was to keep on walking by his side. I didn't look him in the face. I guess he was more nervous than I was...but we were headed to meet with his friends and I was feeling so awkward...I did say I liked him back, but I just couldn't do anything. When we got to the place we were headed to, it was closed...so we went somewhere else and his friends were kind of giving me the eye to find out what had happened and I felt so awkward. I'm too shy. Then we went home and I held onto his arm until we got to my house and then I pulled him in for a peck on the lips...but I was so weirded out by the whole thing that I didn't feel anything. I felt it was very casual, something to do and get out of the list. I resist change in my life...I cling to my comfort zone which is where I've always been and if I don't break out this time, I never will..

What is wrong with me?

[CANDC]

Hi thecatalanperson. Sorry to hear you are feeling awkward about relationships. I am not sure if you feel okay about this person but it sounds like you had a new first time together.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.

Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.