[CosmicRose]

I feel like such an idiot. I was catfished. I was on a dating website that is very popular and started talking to this handsome guy who said he was in the military and currently deployed. We talked for a couple weeks but we were talking every single day. He told me about the missions he was going on in detail. He told me in detail what he does in his job. He said he was able to use the office computer on base because he was a contractor for the army reserves and he was an officer so he was basically in charge of the other guys. I don't know much about the military but when I asked my friend if that seemed legit, he said no because if you're a contractor in the military you wouldn't also be in the reserves because you would miss drills.

He told me his parents died in a car accident and he's an only child. He said they left him with a lot of money so even though he's well off financially, he still wanted to work in the military in order to do something with his life. He sent me pictures of his house and it looked suspiciously extravagant.

I started feeling really suspicious when he started being overly affectionate to me saying he wanted to spend every moment with me and think of his place as "ours". Big red flag. So I began asking him personal questions to verify his identity such as his full name including his middle name because I already had his first and last. His home address. His civilian telephone number, etc. He had told me that he wasn't able to call me because he didn't have his cell phone while deployed and his office computer had no webcam.

This all happened within a span of about 2 1/2 weeks by the way. So after I asked him for his information, he said "I was headed to bed but I'll give you that info in the morning." Five days went by and I didn't hear from him. I sent him an email and received a message back saying "Undelivered mail - the address you're attempting to send to does not exist." Wow. Should have trusted my instincts. All the signs were there, I just wasn't paying enough attention apparently.

I thought I would never be catfished, I thought that was only for old to middle aged women who weren't familiar with computers. I even gave this guy my social media pages like tumblr, etc. Gross! I was planning to meet him when he got back from deployment at the airport! I find it strange that he never asked me for money, but still did the whole sob-story spiel.
That's the last time I get emotionally involved with someone online. I deleted my dating website page and I'm never doing that again. It's way too risky and downright dangerous. I feel like a huge idiot, I should have known better, I practically grew up on the internet. I think he was feeding on my loneliness and I just wanted him to be real. What a weird disappointment.

Please be careful if you're on one of those dating websites.

[elin95]

I'm sorry ! He sounds like an idiot. Catfishing can overcome everyone unfortunately. Thank you for this warning.

[Alastor Melancholic]

I wouldn't feel too bad about it really. This stuff can happen. Don't let it take up more of your time than it deserves imo.

[divine1966]

You can pm me. Or See my posts around January. This isn't one person.

This is the entire gang of criminals, one writes texts the other emails third calls ets it is only a matter of time before they ask for money, they aren't in the US so you can never find them. And if you saw "his" picture it is not him. They steal pics of facebook etc people whose pics they use are also victims, kind of identity theft in the way

They look for desperate women.

Look up romance scam forum. Plenty of educated literate professionals fall victims, including me. No it's not for computer illiterate middle age women. People of any age with PhD and life experiences get scammed.

Don't be ashamed. Police and FBI told me how many upscale people fall victims of scams. It is because we are normal people but they are criminals. We cannot compete with them. They use tactics we aren't familiar with plus when you are desperate that's when it comes

My brother made a good point that It is not me who needs to be ashamed of what happened but they. As they are evil criminals, not me. Good point

Be glad you didn't end losing money, count your blessings and go celebrate! I actually lost money. A lot. Gave myself two days to grieve, learned my lesson and then moved on with my life. Don't dwell on it

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[eskielover]

Sounds to me like you were onto him pretty much all along though at least from the time you were questioning about him with your friend..if he hadn't triggered some red flags before that, you wouldn't have questioned her about him.

Just one thing to remember, when red flags start flying....& you start to question....trust your gut feelings & let them be your guide. Why let your emotional self keep going when your logical self is already telling you there is a problem. You caught it....you just didn't trust yourself that you had.

First red flag I would have had was him talking about his missions....missions are classified & CAN'T be talked about whether contractor or not....but it sounds like you are wiser than you give yourself credit for being.

[A Red Panda]

What eskie said - trust your gut.

2 1/2 weeks is so not enough time for someone to share THAT MUCH about their personal life and sorrows.

It isn't gross that you gave him your social media sites - although in the future you might want to not give that out if you're having any red-flags. And why give up because of him? Not everyone is like that, and you learned a lesson through it.

1. you learned that you should trust your gut.
2. you should hopefully learn that getting as attached as you seem to be within such a short time isn't healthy.

If you start to feel emotionally attached/invested in someone when you've only just met him, you should stop and think and evaluate yourself. It's so easy to want to just have that "instant" attachment, but it's rarely healthy and just leads to self-deception (and, in your case, deception in general from the other person!). You were overlooking your own instincts because you wanted that attachment.

Not sure if that makes sense. But don't just quit because of one rotten person. Just keep the pace slower in the future!

[elevatedsoul]

you're not the only one that has and is currently falling for these scams
im glad you caught it before it went on longer
hang in there

[~Christina]

There are some really easy ways to see if some one is "catfishing" It's not rocket science.

If your talking for a while and you have seen there" picture" already . Tell them you have been lied to in the past with meeting people online.. ask them to send you a selfie (now) holding a random item next to there face, like a water bottle, cereal box, newspaper, ball of aluminum foil ,, anything silly, but you choose it ( There is no reason a person cant find a 1.00 bottle of water to prove they are real and truly like you, to take a pic with) .. If they disappear,you have your answer, If they drag there feet you will also have your answer. If someone doesn't look basically the same in each pic well then its really a LMAO kinda deal.

Just don't allow you to get emotionally invested so early on.. Its like here.. Do you become emotionally involved with everyone you have responded too ? I doubt it. It takes time to get to know someone and it should.

I'm glad your gut was letting you know something wasn't right early on. Now just learn to always follow it, Mine has yet to fail me.

I met my husband online , Back in the hayday of "chatrooms" the same stuff was going on , it just wasn't called "catfishing"

[RomanJames2014]

This has happened to me a few times and each time I get really scared.

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