[lostinconnection]

Hi. I think I have a commitment phobia. I have been a few relationships before and I mostly would be the one leaving the relationship. It would always start good and after some time I would feel as if this not that. Not what I am looking for. I think I have a hard time to decide if that I need to end the relationship or stay in it. Very often I would end up cheating or starting a new relationship while not finishing the other first. I have been in a unhealthy marriage with husband mentally abusing me. We have been married for 6 years total while last two years I have been involved with another man. That other man is great. After me and my husband got separated I started seeing this guy, but after some time like previous relationships I started to feel that something is off and I started to think that I need someone else.
This guy is my best friend and supports me. He says he can’t be with me since there are family/cultural issues, but will try and talk to them sometime soon and see if he can convince them. Me and him been on and off dating and I think I love him, but at the same time I am not sure what I want anymore. I met another man while being off with this guy and we hit it off, but no dating. Just seeing each other and just enjoy our lives. I mentioned to my best friend about the other guy, and he said I need to decide what I want.
There is another man who been trying to be with me for a while, but I never been serious about him. He is serious and wants to marry me, met my dad etc. But I think I see controlling tendencies that my husband had in him as well.
What should I do? I start to think that there is something wrong with me and I can’t love at all. Or commit.

[divine1966]

I hope you practice safe sex if you are intimate with more than one guy

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Maybe you need some time to yourself? Give yourself some space from these men and it may sort your feelings out. xo

[lostinconnection]

Yeah, I do practice safe sex for sure. Its just I feel that I need more and as if I need to see more with no commitments and just sex to see the difference. Not sure if that's normal.

I did feel that I should try to take time for myself but it didn't work out. There are always men around me and with serious offer and not so much.