[Arwen_78]

I grew up in a small town and I was very much the outcast from 1st grade till Senior year of high school. I've found that blaming the other kids in school was pointless as while as blaming myself to be pointless. I mean I'm just me and I've always had a small group of friends but they weren't always from the same circle.

Now that I've grown up and lived away from home I have made lots of friends but they aren't people that I can share my deepest darkest needs with, in fact I hardly do with anyone. I'm friend with people from all walks of life and they have all colored my life with a rainbow of colors.

Now my 10 year high school reunion came up 6 year ago and I went, kinda wish I hadn't. I drank way to much I would say 3-5 times my limit for a night out. I accidentally tired to kiss another girls BF (which within one group of my friends would be seen as fine but that was in a bigger city). Then a few months later one of the other women's husband tried to get me to sleep with them. I mean I totally pushed him away once I figured out what he was trying to get from me. Sad thing was I knew most of these people on FB and as much as we never got along in school we still talk now. I know the girl from the reunion knew I was way too drunk and we're cool. (and this was off topic)

Anyways, I've found a few of these people in the city I now live in and have hung out with them. The best thing I get from them was that in school I always seemed to know who I was. I don't know what they meant but I think I've never KNOWN who I am but I'm true to myself at any given moment and I thing most people wish they could do the same. This is why we are outcast because the wish they could be the same and get away with it.

[Webgoji]

You mentioned that you've never known who you are. I'm the same way and maybe you've got a similar personality. My personality type has been called a "Guide". I spend my life guiding other people through their lives and it's through this that I'm exploring who I really am. Maybe that's why you feel like an outcast, because you'll spend your life exploring who you are instead of fitting into a simple archetypal group.