A few months ago I returned my engagement ring to my now ex fiance after a convoluted breakup.

He was furious when he received the ring and fighting ensued. I went no contact until I could emotionally balance myself then sent him a forgiveness/closure letter wherein I stated that I forgave him, myself and the situation. He rejected the letter and said he doubted my sincerity. Since I didn't write it with his response in mind, I didn't reply to his angry email. Two weeks later he called me late at night and I didn't pick up. It has been a month since that call.

No contact feels safe because I've done work on myself but I don't know that he has - but he was more than my fiance, we have an age gap. More than anything I miss him as my friend and advisor. I feel like I grieved/grieve the loss of my coach, mentor, teacher etc with him more than I anything. He made sure I was cared for no matter what and I know I have great credit, professional standing and more partially because of sacrifices he made.

Should I call him back? It's been about two months of no contact.

[Bill3]

What is the (likely) purpose of his call?

What sort of relationship (if any) do you envision having with him in the future?

[kennyc]

Seems pretty resolved to me. Perhaps you need to try and find new support/coach/mentor/friends.

Originally Posted by Bill3

What is the (likely) purpose of his call?

What sort of relationship (if any) do you envision having with him in the future?

To make peace. We were together over 7 years and it bothers me that it didn't end well. I just want us both to feel heard and be ok with it. I don't think I could be his friend but I don't want there to be had blood because there's so much history.

Originally Posted by kennyc

Seems pretty resolved to me. Perhaps you need to try and find new support/coach/mentor/friends.

I have a good support network and I've been thriving on my own at my new job for the last few months, its a high stress job that I never thought I could due to my anxiety - my ex always believed otherwise. The breakup helped me grow tremendously,I was codependent. That said, I miss just talking to him apart from the relationship, he was my biggest supporter and the first person I disclosed my anxiety to.

What triggered this was yesterday I went to make a call using my headset on my cell and and audio of a phone call between my ex and I started playing in my headset; I recorded it (he used to ask me to record our calls so I could hear where our communication went wrong). On the call I hear him pleading to be heard and asking me to just listen to him while I say that I am trying but hurt. It was a calm but emotional call and I guess I feel really sad about it now and wish I had been able to hear past my hurt.