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Old Aug 25, 2015, 11:20 PM
Jdjdkkfkde Jdjdkkfkde is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2015
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1
My boyfriend has been really depressed lately and he was also cheated on and abused physically and emotionally by his ex boyfriend and it has caused our relationship to be extremely uncertain and at this point it seems as though our relationship is non-existent at this point even though neither one of us officially said its over or anything. There's times where he will stop all communication with me for certain periods of time and he stands me up on dates occasionally. He has talked about getting professional help but I have no idea if he has done that yet. I can't go to his house to talk to him about it because that would probably make things worse and not only that but I can't force him to seek help. Also, I know which apartment building he lives in but I don't know what his apartment is. We also don't have any mutual friends that I can talk to and I haven't met any of his family yet. I love him and don't want to give up on him. He clearly needs some space to figure things out and hopefully seek help so I'm giving him that space. I was texting him good morning and goodnight every day for the past 3-4 weeks even though he wasn't texting me back and I wasn't doing that to be clingy or annoying I did that because he told me before we started dating that he was afraid that I'd just up and leave him at some point in the relationship and I texted him everyday to prove to him that I wasn't going to do that. I decided to stop and give him some space mainly because he may have blocked my number although I'm not positive if he did. Occasionally when I call him it rings once and goes to voicemail and other times it rings the normal 5 times before going to voicemail. We have had issues sending and receiving texts before so it could just be technical issues as his cell phone carrier is not as well known and its not a popular one not to mention my cell phone carrier is well known but the service is crap.

4 or 5 weeks ago he texted me back after a week or two long period where he stopped contacting me and he suggested that he and I make our relationship official and we did and I asked him if it was okay if I tell him I love him and he said yes and he also started telling me he loves me and then a week later he stopped talking to me again and I haven't heard from him since then and today marked exactly 30 days since he last talked to me which is the longest we havent talked since we met. One of my boyfriends problems is that he is also a people pleaser. There's nothing wrong with trying to make people feel happy but my boyfriend lets it rule his life and his own happiness suffers because of it. I feel like he suggested we make our relationship official because he still wants a relationship with me and I feel like he cut contact with me because he is feeling really scared about relationships. He hasn't logged into the dating profile he and I met on since we met and he hasn't created any new dating profiles on any sites so I feel like if he stopped having feelings for me he would be on dating sites checking out other guys but he's not. I am hoping that if I give him some space that he will come around and eventually contact me again but I know it'll take a while probably.

I am just wondering if anyone has gone thru something similar. I am just seeking to be able to relate to someone who has gone thru something similar. Has anyone else gone thru something similar and how did it turn out for you?

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  #2  
Old Aug 27, 2015, 05:18 AM
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,220
I am sorry.

But if he hasn't replied in 4 weeks and you contact him daily calling and texting then there is no relationship. It is no matter if he is on dating sites or not. He isn't with you. No it's not technical glitch.

No I wouldn't have anything similar because if people don't reply to me it is obvious they aren't interested. I mean ok give it maybe few days but not that long.

I know it sucks but give it brief time to heal and start looking for someone who is interested in you. Don't waste another day on someone whom you need to pursue this way!


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