Pregnancy mood swings (kinda long)

i'm alittle over a month pregnant and i'm already having terrible mood swings with my boyfriend. for example, we don't live together completely yet - we both have our own apartments, but he's been staying at my place for a good while. last friday night he wanted to go spend time with his cousin after work. I, however, wanted him to come home. even though i know i shouldn't have gotten upset about it, i got extremely bent out of shape.

the next morning he would barely speak to me and didn't come home until late after i got off of work (and didn't even stay the night). he got angry with me and pitched a fit about how he wouldn't be able to stay with me if i kept getting mad the way i did and acting crazy. so, i managed to calm myself down (after 20 nervous breakdowns in 3 days) and he came home.

wednesday night, he didn't come home 'cuz he got off of work late (2 a.m.) and didn't want to wake me up (he had to call me from the gate so i could let him in, which i wouldn't have minded). i woke up alone and went to his place. last night, he got off late again and didn't come home 'cuz he had to do laundry. i got upset and angry again out of nowhere and i couldn't help it. then i had a few more nervous breakdowns and didn't fall asleep until almost 4 a.m.

he's really angry with me and doesn't believe me when i apologize. i'm trying really hard to not be like that with him, but i can't help it. i don't know how to alleviate the situation and get things to go back to normal. help!

(sorry this was such a long post, thanks for your help though!)

Welcome to PC!

What was it like the previous month when he would call and indicate he wanted to spend time with a friend?

Did you already have plans for that night?

If you truly believe this is mood swings from Pregnancy, you might want to set some boundaries about last minute changes and discuss how pregnancy is effecting you. I know it is different for every person - having watched 3 pregnancies...you may still want to do a little research so you can give him some things that he could expect during the pregnancy and labor/delivery.

Kind of embarrasing - On the first labor/delivery I was rubbing wife's back or something and she would say "nice". At least that is what I heard - she was saying "ice". Didn't happen just once but at least three times.

well see, before i found out, we spent all of our free time together. the night he went to his cousin's wasn't a huge deal - or it really shouldn't have been. i just expected him to come home and spend some time with me 'cuz i now work all day on saturdays (we used to have the same days off together - tuesdays & saturdays, but now oonly tuesdays).

i blew it out of proportion without really meaning to and the next day he was all "i can't handle a new baby right now" 'cuz of the way i got over the weekend. he already has a 4 yr. old daughter with someone else.

i tried explaining to him that alot of it i can't help 'cuz it's hormones and all he says is "oh you're just making up an excuse, blaming it on the baby."

i was trying to be nice to him and apologize and stay calm, but he was just being mean about it and saying "yeah, you're always sorry" and then got mad 'cuz i got upset and started crying.

so then i got more wound up and he didn't wanna talk to me anymore, which wound me up more. i lost it then and wanted to bother him some more and talk, but i managed to calm myself down somehow and am leaving him alone so that he can cool off.

Yea it does sound out of proportion...regarding making excuses - that is where the research comes in handy...This might take the edge off everything.

Just another thought - Each of you should have a night out without each other each week - wholesome clean activities I'm talking. Also, together each week.

It is what of the biggest things I've learned since my divorce - had we each had a night off on our own and a date each week - wow I think that would have made the difference to close the gap. Both felt underappreciated and we never did anything together. Having to hold down the fort for a night while the other is out - brings appreciation back into perspective. Dates - will allow you two to stay connected on more than the day-to-day business stuff.

thanks. it just sucks cuz i hate sleeping by myself - alot.

i just wish he could be alittle bit more understanding though. he's gone through pregnancy before, apparently, and i haven't. ya know?

I know...

Remember each person is different and each pregnancy is different - the 3rd one had me at my wits end.

Hopefully you two can talk a little on this when the anger has died down.

i know. i'm hoping we can talk it out without either of us getting mad or upset, but he just thinks i'm making up excuses when i try to explain myself.

i know i did wrong, but he's made mistakes too. and yes they made me mad, but i didn't get so ballistic that i sat there and talked mad %#@&#! to him like he's done to me. he went through my cell phone twice trying to catch me talking to other guys. someone IMed me on my cell last saturday when we were arguing and he picked up my phone like he was gonna go through it in front of me. when i pointed that out and mentioned how i didn't get nearly as upset about that as he did with me all he said was "yeah, i don't do that anymore, but you're still flipping out"

actually, we're even. i've gone off the handle on him as many times as he's gone through my cell phone. but you know how men are - lol. just kidding.

Let him know that you feel he doesn't understand when he calls them excuses. And please, please never use it as an excuse - you might be caught and that could unravel everything.

it's been 3 days since i saw him last.

and almost 2 since i've spoken to him. he won't answer my calls or text me back. i've tried giving him his space, but this is getting rediculous. he's flat-out ignoring me. i don't know what i'm supposed to do now.

The silent treatment is never a kind thing to do to another person.

Probably time to back away and stop calling...see if he is man enough to step up to his responsibilities to you and the unborn child.

i tried giving him his space, but he's not doing anything.

i spoke to him last night, and he said he wasn't mad at me anymore, but he still didn't come home and he's still not talking to me today.

I hope he is just scared...unless he already has children - this can be a bit scary - we will think positively that he will come around. Right?