[loveyouhun]

Hi,
I'm having issues with my Mom. I'm on disability and sometime I have to ask my Mom to help me with my finances. She get nasty sometime. She had put me down and called me names (when I was younger.) I try to reasons with her but it's doesn't work and she get pissed and angry at me. I wrote her a letter about how I felt when we are together. She got mad at me when I called her and I couldn't get words out for 15-20 minutes. I just pull the phone away from my ear. on Friday she called me and I was calm and nice to me. I trying to have a good relationship with her but doesn't seem to be going that way. I don't know what else I can do. Any suggestions will be helpful.

loveyouhun

[dancinglady]

I think I can understand this from your moms point of view. We have to pay our bills we want you to learn to live within your means. If you can't you need to seek financial counseling from someone else. I am like your mother frustrated with my sons inability to learn to live on their terms. I am a 1 year from retirement and I will be on a very limited income. The savings I am giving my sons now may mean I will not have $$$ for my medication down the road. What will happen to me when I need to borrow $$$$. I will be in their place. Try to see what you are doing as hurting your mother, jeopardizing her future, making her feel as she did a bad job as a parent.

At least, she does seem to care about you on some level. She's helping you out when you need it. Although she may judgmental and sometimes even mean, she clearly does care about you enough to lend you a hand.

There's a good agency in my area that has free, short classes about financial subjects and money management. They cover all sorts of things from making a budget to improving your credit rating to learning about home mortgage loans.

If you could find something similar in your area, it could be very helpful for you. Usually if you call United Way at 211, they will know if an organization with free classes like that exists in your area.

I am on disability, too, and know that the low income is so hard to stretch to make it meet your needs. I never ask my mom to help because I'm afraid that she will either say "no" or that it would cause a big fight.

Just taking care of your own finances probably will not fix all the problems between you and your mother, but it can get rid of one source of disagreement.