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#1
May 20, 2007, 04:27 PM
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I read something in this forum - that upset me a little - not a big deal - it was a comment about how the men's forum seem to lack substance (in essense)
So I posted on Friday: It's been about two years from the separation/divorce. Haven't really "dated" in 12 years. Looking to meet and get to know someone. I have a friend that introduced me to her friend. I don't really know what expectations she may have... I leave it open ended - any advice? There have been 17 views and no responses - I'm kind of courous where I'll actually receive the most relevant advice?
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Direction  Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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#2
May 20, 2007, 05:30 PM
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It's been the weekend ... maybe people have just been less on the net (and you are right, that forum can be quiet).
Relationships and Communication - maybe repost there? |
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#3
May 20, 2007, 05:47 PM
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what are your expectations, Direction? xoxoxo pat
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#4
May 20, 2007, 05:55 PM
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But that's the big unknown! You have to go see what her expectations are. Knowing ahead of time won't work anyway because you are separate people and she wants what she wants and you are who you are and if you're compatible, great! If not, well, good to find out and move on to someone you are compatible with.
 . You wouldn't want to know because you wouldn't want to try to fit her mold, you want to be you. Just go have fun. She probably is like you, wanting a nice person to have fun with. Light and easy, getting to know one another time. |
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#5
May 20, 2007, 07:15 PM
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direction just ask her for a casual meal out or a daytrip somewhere nice or even just go for a coffee initially and see what happens. you may just click and get on really well. be yourself you are a great guy, always caring and there for people.
good luck sweetie. luv jinny xoxoxoxoxo |
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#6
May 20, 2007, 09:10 PM
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How about a get together with your mutual friends? That way things are kept light and easy and there is less stress involved. It's hard getting back into the dating pool. I wish you much luck!
((((((((Direction))))))))))) Hugssss J |
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#7
May 20, 2007, 10:32 PM
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This post was moved - I was more upset that the men's forum is rather shallow - I was asking advice from men and then I posted it under women's issue - which I understand was an incorrect place to post.
So you can ignore this post...I just won't bother with the men's forum...
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Direction Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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#8
May 21, 2007, 12:27 AM
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#9
May 21, 2007, 08:54 AM
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(((((((((((Direction))))))))))))))))
Take her out to a flea market as friends to see if you two connect in anyway. Women love to shop and you can get her a gift. If things go well ask if you can take her to dinner because all that shopping made you hungry. By the end of the night you'll be able to better gauge what her expectations are. Sorry the mens forums are shallow. Stay out here with us.
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#10
May 21, 2007, 11:54 AM
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Direction,
I don't think the men's forum is shallow. There's no way to know why there weren't any replies there right away. That happens in all the forums though....A lot of times when I'm browsing a forum, if I see 17 views and 0 replies, I'll go read and if I have something to say, I'll reply just to get that 0 off of there. But if I don't have anything substantial to say, I still won't reply. It could simply be that the men didn't know what to say, or maybe they were checking in and didn't have time to reply. I know for me, a lot of times I'm checking in without a lot of time, so I won't have time to reply. I know that the men's forum can be slow sometimes, simply because there aren't as many men on the site as there are women. Those 17 views could have been from women too....we can view there, we just can't post. So that would also partly explain the 0 replies. So I hope that you can forgive the men's forum and try it again. Its also only a few months old. Maybe some of the men on the site, especially the new ones, haven't seen it. As far as the question about the woman, I agree with the other posters. Go out and see what happens! You never know....could be true love. Anyway, I just wanted to put a defender for the men's forum out there and try to explain a little about possibilities for 0 replies. I don't think they're shallow at all. Thanks, Rayna
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#11
May 22, 2007, 02:37 AM
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I think Sabau2 is right, try a get together with mutual friends, it seems just cause for a good ice breaker, and if you two dont hit it off then you have a means to "escape" - talk to your other friends....
the more the merrier.... its a toughy ((((((((((((((((((((MASSIVE HUG))))))))))))))) MK
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The decision to have a child is know that your heart will forever walk outside your body! |
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#12
May 23, 2007, 10:53 AM
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We've already had three "Dates" - once dinner at my place and a movie, once dinner at her place and a movie, friends birthday party where mutual friend was present and then an Theater movie - the other ones were DVD's
"Shallow" was the wrong word to us... I was upset and I'm not entirely sure why.
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Direction Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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#13
May 23, 2007, 07:48 PM
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Sounds like you're dating this woman then! Yay! Has there been chemistry?
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#14
May 23, 2007, 07:50 PM
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Yes and no - with changes in meds - I'm all over the place...
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Direction Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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#15
May 23, 2007, 07:54 PM
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Does she know about the meds? Is she understanding about the ups and downs?
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#16
May 24, 2007, 06:40 AM
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But Direction, you hit the nail on the head, men are shallow
 
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#17
May 24, 2007, 09:59 AM
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Raynaadi - we have discussed it directly - I think she knows I take some meds - I know that she takes xanax for anxiety...
Mouse - at least the ones that seem to get all the attention...leaves the rest of us with a pretty bad reputation.
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Direction Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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#18
May 24, 2007, 12:35 PM
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Well she sounds like a good woman. I hope things go further for you!!!
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#19
May 24, 2007, 04:20 PM
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Should have been...we have not discussed directly...
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Direction Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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#20
May 25, 2007, 12:25 PM
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She'll probably be understanding about it, especially if she suffers from anxiety. I know I like openness. I'd rather a guy tell me something from the beginning rather then let me make and uninformed decision about what I can or can't handle. If you like her, why not try letting her know where you're coming from, that way you'll be at ease having it out in the open and she'll have all the facts.
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#21
May 25, 2007, 01:38 PM
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Yes, I agree...I'm not sure if we are at that point with three "dates".
I'm still having trouble figuring when it would be appropriate to kiss her. Anyway we have some tenative plans for the weekend...get's I will see how things go and if it feels right...
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Direction Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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#22
May 28, 2007, 01:56 AM
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I think with a fairly candid discussion tonight - we are probably going to be just friends...I know neither of us are really attracted to each other...I thought that the personality stuff would take its place...I guess you do need some kind of chemistry...haven't felt it with her...
I enjoy her company - it is nice to have woman to go out now and again. I guess there does need to be some kind of spark...which I don't either of us feels...
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Direction Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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