Awkward situation with gf.. Really need advice

So here's the story.. I met my gf..well ex currently around 7 months ago, we met we got on amazingly and ended up together quite quickly,this was her first relationship for five years.. Anyway, months went on everything was great. But all of a sudden she wanted to not break it off completely but slow things down..
Or in other words, sort of dating and having see rather than full on relationship.. Here's where it's gotten even more awkward..
She's recently just completely broke it off with me saying that she has feelings towards me, she still finds me attractive, she cares about me and that I'm an amazing guy but her romantic feeling isn't as strong anymore for some reason.. She tried forcing it but of course it didn't work, there's nothing that I've done or we've done to get her feelings less for me, she said she doesn't even know, but the thing is we get on so so well that we still text as friends even if it's slightly blunt at the moment, I am so in love with her so what I'm asking really is what can do? I'm being patient but I mean has anyone been in a situation where the feeling goes but it comes back? Is there anything I can do to get her to get the romantic feelings back? Any advice would be super appreciated.. Thank you

Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you are feeling hurt after your gf broke off the relationship.

It is a story many people tell of a relationship crumbling and then trying to patch it back together again. I have never been able to do that. Once hope is gone in one person, unless there are overwhelming common threads that connect you, it is difficult to patch things up.

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It sounds like she is frightened of something preventing her from getting close - this despite the feelings you say she has.

I have to ask, considering this site, if either of you have a mental health issue(no need to disclose)? Could fear of dealing with this be perhaps an issue?

It sounds like you're in love and she's not. I knew of a couple like that. They went their separate ways. Down the line, after she had been treated bad by some guys she met after, they ran into each other again. They went out, and, this time, she really valued him and truly did fall in love. They got married and have a solid, happy marriage.

So, that can possibly happen. However, I wouldn't count on it. Try backing off and playing a little harder to get. Some girls prefer for a guy to be a bit of a challenge.

In my experience, when my feelings for someone have dwindled, they have never come back. That is especially true when you have been dating such a short time. It sounds like her feelings started to dissipate pretty quickly. Perhaps the two of you just aren't a match in that way. I hope that you can move on and find that with someone else.

You've been dating for a short time. While it's painful, things like this can happen after the infatuation phase is over. She realized she's not in love.

Don't chase her. Back off and even stop texting her. I agree it may raise her interest and she may learn to value by losing it, but don't feed expectations, don't think you're being patient. You're not supposed to be waiting... Move on.

She found out she doesn't have deep feelings. It's better to know now then years later. Move on and find someone who is into you

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My advice, and I speak from experience, is to back off and give her space and even more so, yourself. She is not an option as a girlfriend at this time, and continuing too much interaction with her as it stands now will only further your pain. Is there a chance it can change? Sure, maybe but as it is you have to accept where it is now. Any amount of trying too hard to make the romantic feelings return will only end up in pain right now. The thing is, you haven't done anything to make those feelings go away, so to speak so there isn't much you can do to make feelings you're not responsible for diminishing, return.

Another thought about space. If indeed she cares for you and finds you attractive still... putting distance between you can only work to make her realize she has feelings for you, if she does. This is positive for two reasons. If she realizes this, she will be more sure of her relationship with you. If she does not, it can only help to get you to detach a bit over time and it will become easier for you after awhile, to accept her as just a friend and move on yourself.

Hope this helps.

Cut her loose.


As mentioned above, some people like a challenge, some people only know what they have till its gone, and some other people want what they can't have.


You're making it way too easy for her. At this rate, best case scenario is she keeps you as a loyal back up bf, worst case is she thinks you're a complete push over and is completely put off by it.


Walk away, but don't pretend to.


You have to actually just cut her off.


You'll either find out she was the wrong girl for you or the distance will open her eyes and bring her back.


Either way you'll see the light and that is a good thing.


You can't make someone love you...

A.M.E.N. !!!

Thanks for the advice everyone, it's strange and I've not been in a situation like this, it's either ' no chance move on' or.. Actually that's usually what happens lol, and it's strange as we get on so well I would like to stay friends with her, as I said she only had one other relationship before me five years ago and he treated her like ****.. We both still text as friends but it's sort of once or twice a day or Every other day, but that doesn't bother me, this site has definitely helped in terms of me not looking like a push over and bit desperate.. It's helped calm my mind.. Of course I miss her and would love to get her back but I'm happy that she's got the space she wants, and I have to.. Thanks again guys, I'll keep this updated see if anything is possible but atm in my mind is over we are friends, do what the hell I want in the meantime lol