[Omnikitten]

I've been living with my girlfriend for over a year. We've been dating for a little longer than that. In January her brother died in a vehicle collision, and it was quite traumatic for the both of us. Shortly after I went to college for a few months, and she blames me for having left her alone. She didn't have many friends that weren't my friends before we were together, and over the months I have pretty much dropped contact with them all because they aren't turning out to be nice people at all (drunk driving, picking fights).

She changed jobs and is now a supervisor at a distribution warehouse. She's good friends with her co-workers, but I haven't met any of them yet. She has some medical problems that mean her window of opportunity for having children expires in about five years, around the age of 25. This has caused her to put enormous pressure on me to have children I am not ready for. I told her that I would talk to a counselor of some sort to help get me on board in time, but she compromised and said if she got a dog that would satisfy her immediate need to mother something until I was ready to have kids. This doesn't line up with her biological clock line of reasoning, but I accepted. She got the dog.

She's been texting a friend of hers from work, Chris, almost constantly when we're home together in our limited overlapping home time. She's gone to sleep over there three times, once because we argued and the other two because of various emergencies. She has not let me come along. She won't let me kiss her goodbye when he came to pick her up, saying that she doesn't want him to see her as 'a girlfriend'. I checked her phone one morning and saw him say Good Morning Babe, and they both said 'I love you' the night before.

I confronted her with this and she said they just meant love like siblings, but that she was also uncomfortable that he called her Babe and that she'd tell him that wasn't okay. In a later argument she defended him; he just mistakenly spoke to her like he used to to his ex girlfriend.

I really want to believe her story but with everything that has gone on it all looks really bad. I could check her phone again to see how they've been talking recently, but all that would do is confirm my suspicions if they were true and not disprove them if they're false. The only way I know I can stop worrying about it is if we spend more time together and not have anything like that go on again, but I don't know if that's feasible.

Last night she was upset that I hadn't gone to a counselor yet, that even though she had gotten the dog, she assumes I still won't be ready to have children in time for her without help. She may be right. For the first time in my life I threw up due to stress.

I really want to make us work, but I don't know how to go about sorting our issues. How can I fix something that just tears me apart to think about?

[healingme4me]

I'm lost on the part about medical and only five years left to conceive and have children? Anyone that I know that has had medical causes to not have kids have been emergency or near immediate procedures.

I'm doubtful myself about'friends' "love" as described.

Is she in counseling?

[Trippin2.0]

I have always had close brother like friendships, even exchanged "I love yous" but nobody has called me babe and I never hid them from a bf nor told my bf not to kiss me in front of them... Like W...T...F!!!!!

Sounds like Chris thinks you are the brotherly roommate in this web of lies she's happily spinning.


Why else can't you kiss your own damn gf in front of him...

Looks like she's checked out of your relationship, you may want to cut your losses and move on if she's already screening other prospective baby daddies less than 2 years into your relationship.

PS, 5 year deadline does sound suspicious, and if its somehow legit, why can't you make a baby in the fourth year...

[Rose76]

I do not believe that story about her potential for pregnancy being okay for five years, and the, suddenly, it vanishes.

If you and she are in a committed relationship to the point where you are living together, then she's got no business having a male friend that she is this tight with. (He sounds like a boyfriend to me.)

You don't need counseling to talk you into becoming a dad. I think you made a mistake moving in with this gal. You two obviously (to me) have a lot to learn about each other. Being away at college was a healthy thing for you, and I hope you will be going back. It sounds like this girl just wants a guy who is always available to her. She'll take you, if you are around . . . or, if you're not, she'll take whoever she can find.

Don't go making any babies with her based on this "window of opportunity" story. Go with her to her doctor to have the doctor explain this rare condition to you. I think you're going to find this is a story she has made up.

[ChipperMonkey]

Trust your gut.

If I were you, I'd cut my losses and move on. There are just too many red flags.

IMHO you two are not ready for the kid conversation. Your body is telling you this since you've gotten physically ill.

I agree with others. You don't need a counselor to convince you to have a kid! (I think this is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard and I think your GF is being manipulative. Scary that she wants kids....)

I think your post is maybe simply putting in writing what you already know to be true...
I am so sorry.

[divine1966]

I am sorry. And run. Run fast. Meanwhile do not have sex with her and go check yourself for STd. She has a BF but it isn't you. You are better off

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Do not reproduce with this girl! Its a trap. Truthfully if she does get pregnant with chris in the picture you will be spending huge dollars on dna testing. Someone said get tested for std. Do it, do not pass go, do not collect 200$. Im sorry this is happening but you are too young and obviously not ready hence the vomiting. Think with the head on your shoulders. You wont go wrong.