[rgoldst2]

I like rough sex but lately my fiance has been a little too rough with me in bed. I actually bled yesterday. I know. He doesn't. Mean to hurt me, but I've been having nightmares about the time I was raped after we have sex. I don't want to tell him cuz I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel guilty. I know he loves me he tells me all the time. I just am at a loss as of what. To do. He wants it all the time. I need. Some. Advice

I imagine that you may get varying opinions about this question, but in my experience, the best time to tell someone if they do something that hurts you or that you don't like during sex is right then.

If you wait and then bring it up later, then yes, the person (if they're a caring person) is much more likely to feel guilty.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't bring up the subject whenever you want to - just that an immediate response from you of "Ouch, that hurts" or "No, I don't like that" should result in your fiance adjusting his approach. If he doesn't, then you have a different problem.

As far as the nightmares go, that sounds like something you might need to see a psychotherapist about. That's a safe and professional atmosphere in which to talk about that subject.

Hugs.

I agree with jo_thorne, but I'm a pretty forward woman; if something hurts or is uncomfortable in bed then I say so right away. Sex is way too personal and intimate for me to be engaging in something that isn't pleasing or that I don't at least agree to do. I absolutely feel that it should be discussed. I feel like many men would be more hurt that they were kept in the dark about hurting you--most men, aside from having a great experience, really want to please their significant other and to make their experience pleasurable, not traumatic or painful.