[Mousekat]

(I don't know if it matters, but I'm only 17, I'm diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, depression, and ADD. I'm seeing a therapist, but right now I'm only taking Trazodone for my insomnia. My parents had a fairly healthy relationship, and they were together until the day my father died. My grandparents both have healthy relationships, as do most of my family members. I've also never been in a relationship prior to this one, but if this is standard pre-relationship jitters I'm seriously curious about how anyone manages to reproduce.)

I recently got in a relationship with a really cool guy. We shared a lot of hobbies, he was attractive, and when he asked me out it was at the point where I was kind of expecting it. He was really nice, he called me beautiful and texted me good morning/night every day.

But I was seriously unhappy.

I was so stressed out about the relationship that literally every moment of my day was spent with me thinking up ways and building up the guts to dump him. Literally every single moment. I felt trapped, like the relationship was suffocating me, and I went into full panic mode because of it. Every time my phone went off I got this wrenching feeling in my gut, and when he invited me out for a date I began to dread even just talking to the man.

We were only together for three days. I told him a family member had died and that I wanted to break up so I could deal with that emotionally. That was a lie, I didn't actually lose a family member, I just wanted to be out of that relationship so bad that I made up a terrible lie to get out of it. I feel awful for doing that, but at the same time I'm super relieved to not be in that relationship anymore.

I know I have commitment issues, that's pretty obvious, but what does that stem from, and how can I get over it? And if anyone has similar stories it might make me feel better to know I'm not the only one like this.

[Trippin2.0]

My best guess is that I could be related to your dad's passing.


A very common reason among some of us for not wanting to commit, is to avoid loss.


But hey, I'm just guessing from all the way over here. Only you can say for sure what made a cool bf turn into a 3 day anxiety attack.

[avlady]

you did what your gut told you, always listen to your gut feelings

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by avlady

you did what your gut told you, always listen to your gut feelings

True that, I'm thinking maybe the OP just isn't ready for a relationship...

[littleowl2006]

17 is pretty young! I know I wasn't ready for a serious relationship when I was 17. I was kinda scared of guys and insecure, so I did something similar (I was horrible. Told my first boyfriend we should rather be friends xD)

Give youself some time I'd say? I wouldn't classify this as "commitment issues" - you are so young and some things just take time.

[Mousekat]

I'm hoping it's this. Everyone around me is in relationships, though, even my cousin who's younger than me. Of course, I'm not everyone around me. I'll try again later, way later, if I feel more ready.

[littleowl2006]

Whatever you choose to do, don't put too much pressure on it or let others put pressure on you