[passionfruit3]

Growing up me and my older sister were not the best of friends she loved me in the beginning but she wanted to be independent of me she told everyone I was her adopted sister in our school days and ignored me in junior high her and my cousin were best of friends and me and my sister further apart place they labeled me a snitch cause I told on a girl for fighting in junior high. Because of my sister I did not want to attend family events I felt like the outsider and indeed was mom forced me to go to events and they ended badly.in our teens she became a very out of control teen she once threw movies off the shelf cause she was mad and physicality fought my mother leaving deep gashes on her arms she hated me and said I was the cause since it happened after we got into it sometimes. We had good Times to we weren't the worst of sisters not to paint that picture but we had our issues I just wanted her to love me and I couldn't get her to she once even said she wouldn't miss me if I died now it's 2015 and my sister lives elsewhere off at college but we talk all the Time are relationship is better and think there's even love there.today we talked and I said I missed our passed away Guinean pig Katie she said she'd miss her to and cried when we lost her she said she'd have a hard time losing mom dad or are cat Lucy when I mentioned wanting to die because of this she asked me why I'd want to put someone through the same thing that I don't want which is death I told her it's. Not fair either way.I never felt that love from my sister before and it hurts I feel guilt cause I don't want to stop till I'm either better or dead and since I'm not getting better we'll.yet I don't want to hurt her either.

Sent from my LGMS659 using Tapatalk

[Skeezyks]

Hello passionfruit3: It sounds like you're struggling with some conflicting emotions. The good news, it sounds like, is that you & your sister have grown closer. I hope that you can begin to heal & continue to build upon your improving relationship with your sister.