[prinssa]

I'm dealing with depression and general anxiety disorder. I have self sabotaged my past and now current relationship. Why is that? I was doing just fine. I know I feel insecure and angry at times that's why I accuse my partner of things I know are unreasonable. I regret it always after I finish with my rant. Am I too scared to get hurt? Is self sabotaging a symptom of another mental illness?

[Cole'smom]

Originally Posted by prinssa

I'm dealing with depression and general anxiety disorder. I have self sabotaged my past and now current relationship. Why is that? I was doing just fine. I know I feel insecure and angry at times that's why I accuse my partner of things I know are unreasonable. I regret it always after I finish with my rant. Am I too scared to get hurt? Is self sabotaging a symptom of another mental illness?

We all have insecurities in relationships. Sometimes our gut feelings, hormones and emotions take control. We are human. I enjoy researching these issues and learning how to deal with them and generally get a better understanding about why they happen. Good luck and breathe.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Do you have commitment issues? You may be pushing them away because deep down you don't want it to get that serious. Or maybe you're having communication issues? Either one you should seek therapy to get to the bottom of why you're doing this b

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Risperdal 4mg
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN

[Bill3]

Do you/could you see a therapist?

[avlady]

a therapist could help

My therapist recently gave me a copy of this book:



Three chapters have really stood out for me.

One has to do with "Improving Relationships",
& the other two focus on how we developed an
"Inner & Outer Critic" ... And how they sabotage
our relationship with self and others!

Needless to say, it's been quite an eye opener and
very helpful for me. Of course, you may not have
C-PTSD, but like all other mental health diagnoses,
many of the symptoms of one diagnosis can also
be present in others, so the information in this book
may be helpful to you too.

Wishing you the best!

It sucks to want and need to relate better with ourselves
and others but to not know how or why we do the things
we do that cause us to constantly sabotage it.

More Info Available Here:

Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy
http://pete-walker.com/shrinkingInnerCritic.htm
http://pete-walker.com/pdf/ShrinkingOuterCritic.pdf

Awareness Is Half The Battle!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

[prinssa]

Yes I was seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist. I'm wondering if it's my self esteem issues or if it's part of my anxiety when the sabotaging begins. I don't want to mess up another relationship with a partner who I really care for

[Bill3]

While you are doing it, do you have awareness of what you are doing? Could you say "This is one of those times" to yourself in the moment?

[Steiner of Thule]

I seem to struggle with the same issue and I don't know why I do it.

[prinssa]

No in the moment those feelings are very real. Until after it passes I realize it was wrong

[Bill3]

What happens then?

[prinssa]

I feel like a wreck. After the argument I felt I had a "genuine" reason for what I did. But now I ask for forgiveness. I learned that it's all me and I feel really bad for the mean things I said. Then my partner starts being harder on my apologies and now I'm hoping I'm not going to mess up again.

[Bill3]

Have you ever taken a look at Dialectical Behavior Therapy?

A component of DBT is mindfulness training. It sounds like DBT, or at a minimum work on mindfulness, could help you stay in control in the moment when you are about to launch an attack.

[prinssa]

I haven't. I've only done cognitive behavioral therapy for my ptsd

[Bill3]

What is DBT? | Behavioral Tech