Being Bullied at a Class

Hi I am an adult, but think I am being bullied/abused in a class, I joined a Drama Workshop through someone I knew slightly, we quickly became firm friends and we shared a lot, I thought she was a great person. However, she invited me to something that I did not want to attend, as I thought it could be possibly be bogus, I did tactfully try to tell her but she took great offence (unreasonably so in my opinion), and said I was being negative etc. etc. Well we sort of got over that we weren't great but honestly, it was not a big deal for me and she cancelled coming to one of my dos, with 1 hours notice but I was ok about it. Anyway She has had the hots for the person who runs the Workshop which she confided in me months ago, I am not sure he feels the same way, and for months she was always talking about him to me, saying does he like me? why doesn't call me, he keeps just messaging me.... etc etc... so I was really supportive to her.

Well, the Workshop Leader invited me over to his house to discuss some work I had done... (nothing was in it he is not my type)... so in hindsight I guess I NEVER should have told her but I didn't want to be all hole in corner about it.... so I just sent her brief message saying I was going and that I was hoping it was something she could be included in after the first meet. Well HUGE mistake... because I saw her at the workshop yesterday and she just blanked me as I thought she might as she never replied to my msg... so I stayed away from her and did not try and to talk to her as I knew she had defriended me on Facebook the day before...

Well we were all together and having a Group chat several people were there and she started bringing up things about our friendship and saying "This Person" did this to me etc, so I knew it was about me.. she made direct personal references about me... publicly in the group, and some of them were very hurtful and untrue... she kept calling me "This Person" was Creepy etc etc...

At one point she said Karma will get them, so at this point I said "oh yes Definitely", meaning her obviously!

This went on throughout the whole day... I wont bore you all with specifics but it was pretty brutal, but I am a tough cookie and can handle it... But am worried at some point I am gonna snap and say something!

Also should I tell the Workshop Leader? I am worried it will be make look weak and stupid in his eyes... as reputation is everything in the Drama World and also I will betraying an ex confidence I had with her... about her fancying him?

I haven't had deal with a situation like this since school!! its all rather pathetic really but I am quite hurt by this. I have blocked her on FB as quite frankly I think she toxic and I want to nothing more to do with her

Any advice on how to deal with her would be gratefully received, and thank you for reading such a long post.

Thanks in advance
Agirl X

Hello Actiongirl: The person you are describing is clearly someone who has her own mental health issues... whether she acknowledges them or not. My recommendation here is to do whatever you can to bring this to a full stop as quickly, & as completely, as possible. No good can come from having anything further to do with this, including talking with the Workshop Leader. All this will do is to add fuel to the fire. This is like the story of the tar baby. The more things you try to do to fix this, the more stuck you're likely to become. This is my perspective. Good luck!

This woman sounds like she has the emotional mentality of a middle schooler. I'd just ignore her and not feed into her drama; that's what she is going for. Don't get sucked in any further.

RAWR! And out come the claws! (You, not her.)

Definitely stay away from this girl. Its good that you've blocked her. In terms of your reputation, rise above. Don't get involved with any of her antics. Hold your head high and be the most respectable person you can be.

Honestly, she does sound very childish. Yeah, you met with a guy in a completely platonic/professional way and OMG, now you're stealing her boyfriend! Craziness.

As for your reputation.....don't worry about her trashing you. Everyone will eventually find out what kind of drama queen she is. They'll respect you more for taking the high road.

Sounds to me like you are doing everything in your power to handle this correctly. I like that you are being the bigger person and not gossiping about her or trying to make her look bad. I'd say just continue to enjoy the class and try to ignore her. Best of luck to you!

Rising above it by ignoring her is a good idea. The more she talks like that the more apparent it becomes that she has MAJOR issues. I wouldn't be surprised if that's the 1st impression that people get and they just smile and nod. That's the first impression I got. If you talk to people there and are polite they will be quick to denounce what this chick is saying.

Those kind of women are very insecure and passive aggressive. She has a huge insecurity problem. Don't feed into it. Instead, fortify yourself by befriending others and trying to have a good time. No time or room for petty small-minded people. Know what I mean? If she sees that it rolls ooff your shoulders even though it still affects u inside she'll have a conundrum that people will see and they'll push her away.

Hope it turns out well.

Don't tell the workshop leader.

She's toxic alright. Probably the best thing is to ignore her. Even without knowing who she is referring to, it's obvious to the group that she is being immature about something. I don't think it really matters whether you tell the workshop leader, or not. He can't solve your problem for you. The less reaction she gets from you, the sooner she'll give up this nonsense. She wants to upset you. Don't let her. Be glad you now know what kind of a person she is. She's childish and probably not too happy with her life. No one is going to base their opinion of you on what she says. Try to get friendly with a few other people in the group.

Wow.....you just described the lady next door to me. Yes, this woman in your class is VERY toxic, majorly insecure, manipulative and probably a pathological liar as well. You're right to stay away from her and ignore her. And the others advice on not telling the workshop leader is good. I agree with them on that. It won't help your situation much and may very well just make it worse. And I also agree with the others that the people in your group will not base their opinion of you on what this woman says. In fact, most women and men for that matter know that a person that speaks unkindly about someone behind their back to others, will do it to them as well and are not to be trusted or believed. They are called "backstabbers" and "gossips". And they rightfully have a bad reputation. Just hold your head high, make friends with others in the class and ignore this mean, small-minded woman. Karma will come back to get her. It always does. Seen it many times.

I would just like to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who posted on my thread, your support has really helped me, and I feel so much better. So would like to send everyone a BIG HUG who replied.

xxx