[Hedgeleaf]

Ive been separated for over 18 months. Me and my soon to be ex husband are going thru a divorce right now and literally waiting on final paperwork.

We havnt lived together for over 18 months or been a family or anything for all this time.

All my family know we are divorcing. I've got a new job recently and go by my maiden name. I've changed as much as I can to my maiden name. I'm known to everyone by my maiden name.

My mom sent me a Xmas card in the post address Mrs xxxxx

I'm so so upset!

She knows why I'm divorcing him and the hell he put me through and how he ruined my life.

She said I'm still legally married so used my married name and won't use my maiden name until I'm legally divorced.

I'm beyond speechless

[Little Lulu]

Sounds like your mom may not be ready to accept you are divorcing?? Must feel painful to feel she isn't on your side/doesn't understand.

[divine1966]

OMG I can relate. My family took very long to accept I left my ex and we weren't even married. They all loved him, well granted he is a nice man but alcoholic. They reacted in a bizarre manner insisting I bring him over even after I already moved out and told them It was over etc I am already with someone else and am serious but they still act funny. It's upsetting. Sending you hugs

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[Yoda]

How old is your mom? In 'the old days' women identified themselves as Mrs. so and so rather than using their own first name. I bought a cookbook of recipes from home economics teachers and the majority of the women identified as Mrs so and so.

Or as others mentioned perhaps she hasn't accepted the idea of the divorce.

??

[Hedgeleaf]

Thanks for the replies

My mum is 60.

She still talks about him like he's the best thing in the world. She says these things in front of me and if I tell her any problems about the divorce she is always so shocked at his behaviour.

I just don't feel she's on my side at all!

I actually would expect a woman of 60 in this day and age to be a great deal more current. The days of identifying a woman as "Mrs Barry Bloggins" go back 30 years - and even then it was 60+ year olds that did that. Thus, I would expect only women in their late 80s and 90s to use that very old form of address.

Besides which, you are direct family, why would she feel the need to use such a formal manner in the first place?

I'm glad you are speaking up. I also would not dismiss this as a trivial matter. It cuts right to your very identity. It is also terribly rude not only hurtful.

[Hedgeleaf]

Originally Posted by rcat

I actually would expect a woman of 60 in this day and age to be a great deal more current. The days of identifying a woman as "Mrs Barry Bloggins" go back 30 years - and even then it was 60+ year olds that did that. Thus, I would expect only women in their late 80s and 90s to use that very old form of address.

Besides which, you are direct family, why would she feel the need to use such a formal manner in the first place?

I'm glad you are speaking up. I also would not dismiss this as a trivial matter. It cuts right to your very identity. It is also terribly rude not only hurtful.

She is old school.

Refers to herself and my dad as Mr and Mrs (my fathers full name)

I think it was more shock than anything. I feel like it's a stab in the back, she's my mother!

I was so so upset not only with the name on the envelope but the potential meaning behind it, for me, she doesn't give a ****