[Hans_Olo]

Hello, I’d like to wish happy holidays to all of you and ask one question.

I will hopefully be invited to a New Year party with a couple of my friends and their spouses. But I have a little problem: I’m taking anti-psychotics and sleep pills, so alcohol is out of question. My friends, unfortunately, haven’t discovered yet that you can have fun without being dead drunk, so they’ll ask me questions. Should I tell them truth? Of course, I won’t tell them everything, just that I“ had some physical symptoms no doctor could diagnose till I was sent to a psychotherapist. Now I take an unspecified medicine and sleep pills to treat the side effects.” It's not a lie, but a bare minimum so they won’t consider me crazy or pity me.
My mom warned me against this, but I don't want to lie anymore. A part of me itches to tell everybody just to see their reaction. I'm terrible at keeping secrets

[JustJenny]

If you trust your friends - it is okay to tell them. If you are afraid they will start spreading the word you can tell a white lie - that you have an other health problem (e.g. liver problem) or that you decided to live your life sober. I know several people who do not consume any alcohol just because they decided they don't want that.

[jbuttz]

Originally Posted by Hans_Olo

just that I“ had some physical symptoms no doctor could diagnose till I was sent to a psychotherapist. Now I take an unspecified medicine and sleep pills to treat the side effects.”

You don't even have to say this much. Keep it even more discreet if you'd like. I have a minimal amount of people who know that I can't drink because of my meds. They know it's for anxiety and depression but that's as far as I keep it. I told a work colleague about my meds and he asked me for one. I made the mistake of saying too much. I'm not a dispenser and I plan on keeping it that way. Thats basically why it's no one's business.

[gayleggg]

I would just tell them that you are taking a med that doesn't mix with alcohol.

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[marmaduke]

I wouldn't tell them. I'd pretend drink or drink little and slow.
I made the mistake of telling a work colleague I thought I could trust, but he didn't understand at all.
Said he didn't belive in those pills.
Keep it to myself now.

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[CaptainChaos79]

People who used to think I didn't need Remeron are believers now...after I forced them to be around me after I didn't take it for a week on purpose...now they believe...tee hee hee...wasn't nice of me but hey....

[shezbut]

I would advise you to simply keep the facts to yourself. Simply say that you're on a medication that doesn't mix with alcohol. If asked what the medication is for, then tell them it's for sleep issues.

The end. Meaning: don't tell them any more than that. Some people can say terrible things, especially if they're getting drunk. People sometimes come up with all sorts of stories to motivate others to drink with them. Don't fall into that trap! Simply stick to your guns & have fun being sober.

[ChipperMonkey]

Get a drink. Go to the bathroom and pour it out. Fill it with water. Voila! Nurse that drink all night long. Nobody will be able to tell you're not drinking at all.

Alternatively tell them you're on meds and can't drink. If they dig, tell them it's antibiotics for an ear infection.

Yeah, it sucks having friends who must get drunk to have fun. It sucks when you're 35 and they STILL haven't grown out of it. (One reason I'm no longer friends with these people----a long line of alcoholism in my family makes me not want to touch the stuff, plus bad mixing with meds, plus it skyrockets my anxiety. Any one reason is reason enough to not drink.)

[healingme4me]

There's so many reasons why various people can't drink at any given point. Bringing your own non alcoholic supply, is an option. Why bring attention to the fact? If it's about being together as friends, that's more important than what's in your glass.

My drink of choice, seltzer water with cranberry juice and a slice of lime to garnish.
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[jbuttz]

I got pulled over by the police one night and he asked me the last time I had a drink was... wrong move buddy! I started going on and on about how I don't drink, can't drink. I was sweating because I felt like he didn't believe me. He gave me 'the look' like everyone does when you tell them you can't drink.

Well, I can see that you're getting lots of different answers. In the US (where I am, and where I know the culture around me), sleeping pills have less of a stigma than other psychiatric medications.

I would start off giving as little information as possible - just that you're not drinking alcohol because you're taking a medication that you can't drink alcohol with.

If your friends refuse to let you off with that story, then you could say that you have been having sleep problems and are taking medication for it, and that the medication stays in your bloodstream all the time, so you can't drink alcohol.

I think lots of people have seen the horror stories about people who take Ambien and drink alcohol and get amnesia and wreck a car or end up in jail for fighting. I don't think it's a common side effect, but I'd think people should understand why you wouldn't want to take the chance.

From your description of your friends, I'm assuming that they are people who find it extremely difficult to imagine having a party without alcohol. I used to have friends like that when I was much younger. Not drinking was unthinkable to them and they would insist that everyone must have drinks.

I'd choose the sleeping pill story over the antibiotics story, because I imagine you're going to need to use this story more than once.

Good luck. I have been down the road of needing to tell people that I could no longer drink alcohol because of medications. It's a little bit stressful, but by not drinking alcohol with your meds, you are doing a good thing for your health, both physical and mental.

You're also doing a good thing for your body, because generally alcohol and the kind of psych meds you're taking do not mix well at all. You'd probably feel very sick if you drank more than one drink, and even one drink might make you feel bad.

You say that a part of you wants to tell your friends the complete truth. I understand that urge to let people you know well what's going on with you.

I would just think first about how they might react - what's the worst thing that you think they might say or do? Do you think you could handle that?

Good luck with your party.

[leomama]

I wouldn't tell them, just say you don't drink, if you're old enough to drink, you're old enough to make your own decisions.

[rooseanistonn]

Hello;
Even that my collage part all my friends take drink. But i am does not take drink, but my friends are force first time take a drink. After that i do not believe me-------

[Hans_Olo]

Thanks everybody for your answers!

The situation ruled itself out as I wasn't even invited to the party.

It's been a little more then half a year without alcohol and my friends started to get curious. I told them that I take some unspecified meds, and they immediately asked for the name to google the side effects. That time I managed to distract them somehow.

[nicoleflynn]

I wouldn't tell them anything, because it is none of their business. If someone asks why you aren't drinking,just say you don't want to.

[DechanDawa]

I know people who are on medication and who shouldn't drink but they still do. This seems a lot more confusing than if someone said they were on medication and so don't drink. I think the reasons for not drinking can be kept private. There are a lot of reasons why people don't drink. I didn't drink for 10 years and never had to give an explanation. I just didn't drink, and usually put in an appearance at parties but didn't stay really late. I then went back to social drinking. I am ready to again be a non-drinker because the lifestyle was nicer. It was nice to not be overexposed to people who drink because invariably someone ends up drinking too much. So how would I tell people, "Oh, I don't drink because I would like to avoid drunks."? Discretion is best. Classy and mature people don't question a person about why they are not drinking. (I didn't drink because I felt better when I didn't put alcohol in my system. It was that simple.) It's kind of unnecessary to pretend drink or lie about the reasons for not drinking. The bottom line is people don't care all that much.

[avlady]

you don't have to tell anybody about your meds. i agree with gaylegg and shezbut and the rest.

[lunatic soul]

No dont say.
You can say you dont drink, there are people who doesnt drink, its okay

[brainhi]

Over the last decade I find I drink way less than I use to. I usually had a great time "partying" with friends - friends at the time.

I do take meds... and my mental health is getting better and better so I do not have that desire to escape like I use to.

Even though I do have drinks at times... I now notice those old friends and I do not have as much in common anymore. I have other things in my life I am passionate about and would like to share with them - I want other types of discussions... most of those old friends are not interested and are pretty much using alcohol daily.

There are a couple friends (dear to me) that I know are clearly unhappy with their lives and are definitely self medicating.... I see pain and drowning that with alcohol or pot or medications are not helpful for changing their mental health.

I've told most I am on meds... some get it some don't. Some will let you go because they are invested in your sickness somehow and as you get well the sick ones do not want to take a look at their own lives.

And sometimes it's just no fun to be sober if your friends are stupid drunk.

There are those in your life that will understand and love you all the same. As you get better and better you will probably choose to have different people in your own life. It's but a journey... people and events come and go...no perfect situation - make sure you take notice of the good and let the bad fade away.

[divine1966]

I don't drink. And I tell people I don't drink. I am not on Meds. But no ones business. It's your business to drink or not and why.


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