[ladytiger]

I was thinking today: my recent ex of 10 yrs has been contacting me he was letting me know that his mom's truck got stolen, she got a new car, his job is great, he's almost done with physical therapy (he got into a car wreck in Oct), but isn't off the cane yet. You know, normal life talk stuff.

I don't talk to him a lot, I keep my distance and do my thing. I can be civil towards him nothing about our relationship ever came up nor about the past drama came up which is great. I don't hate him at all, I still love him very much I had tears in my eyes today. He seems to do be doing the contacting towards me, I just find it to be still hurtful since he still has me blocked online. No, I don't hang out with him like I said keep my distance and do my own thing. Last time I saw him was when I visited him in the hospital when that accident happen and that was that.

I don't know...is what I am feeling normal? Also, nothing about him has changed still puts his phone/objects as his priority above anything else.

[divine1966]

It's normal. You are still grieving and that's ok.

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[ChipperMonkey]

I guess I don't understand why he's contacting you? What does he want?

I honestly don't think its a good idea to stay friends with an ex (or stay in contact with an ex) unless children are involved and the other party is the biological/legally adoptive parent. Keeping an ex in your life means that you are welcoming future drama because something is bound to go wrong if you start seeing someone new. Either the ex will become jealous or the new partner will have issues with your closeness with your ex.

I think its best to cut off contact completely. Staying in contact will only prolong the grieving process.

[marmaduke]

Agree with Chipper no contact is best.
He is being rather selfish, blocking you online but still using you for support which is hurtful.
You need to grieve and move on, this sort of contact (when it suits him) will just prolong the grieving process.
Dont answer the phone if its him, tell him you are not friends any more.

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[JustJenny]

Sorry, I didn't quite understand - were you together for 10 years or did the relationship end 10 years ago? Grieving is absolutely normal, but it should not last for too long. I once was grieving a potential relationship that didn't even evolve past a kiss for 2 years just because we continued chatting online. He liked the attention from me and I was grieving in the meantime. I didn't know better back then.

To add to what has been said above:

Your ex doesn't seem to be wanting to get back together (right?), but he stays in contact. He probably still sees you have feelings for him and that feeds his self-esteem. It is good for him but not good for you. I might be wrong of course, maybe he is just a friendly person who indeed wants to be friends. But then again, why would he block you...

[ladytiger]

Originally Posted by JustJenny

Sorry, I didn't quite understand - were you together for 10 years or did the relationship end 10 years ago? Grieving is absolutely normal, but it should not last for too long. I once was grieving a potential relationship that didn't even evolve past a kiss for 2 years just because we continued chatting online. He liked the attention from me and I was grieving in the meantime. I didn't know better back then.

To add to what has been said above:

Your ex doesn't seem to be wanting to get back together (right?), but he stays in contact. He probably still sees you have feelings for him and that feeds his self-esteem. It is good for him but not good for you. I might be wrong of course, maybe he is just a friendly person who indeed wants to be friends. But then again, why would he block you...

We were together for 10 yrs. He never mention anything about getting back together after the break up almost 5 months ago he said he would do everything he can to win me back down the road - not seeing anything. He blocked me back then because he saw my status online about going to a party and I went to a munch (restaurant) with a couple of friends they were trying to cheer me up and bring my self worth up.

He sent me a text in the middle of the night screenshot the whole thing and circled. I told him we should both stay off the site for a while yet he didn't hold his end of the bargain was still liking women's nude pics (this wasn't on FB). You had to RSVP for these events that's why it showed up in the feed publically.

He said the reason for blocking me is because I can't keep my word. Oh really? The number of times he couldn't keep his word and mine is a very small number compared to his he wanted to talk this out about getting back together and couples counseling. He already broke up with me indirectly speaking by his actions. I knew what he was gonna use who was I sleeping with at the party? the answer was no one. I didn't want to do anymore talking because it didn't help, and when it did work the issues changed only temp then it went back to the drama every time so I got really tired of it. Basically, he bailed out of couples counseling. Whatever beef he had, he could have went to couples counseling with me and talked it out with my therapist unless it was done his way.

I can tell he still has feelings for me too....He won't ever admit **** was his fault too I said what was my fault in the relationship before.

[ladytiger]

Originally Posted by marmaduke

Agree with Chipper no contact is best.
He is being rather selfish, blocking you online but still using you for support which is hurtful.
You need to grieve and move on, this sort of contact (when it suits him) will just prolong the grieving process.
Dont answer the phone if its him, tell him you are not friends any more.

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

Never said we were friends just acquainted with him that's it.

[ladytiger]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I guess I don't understand why he's contacting you? What does he want?

I honestly don't think its a good idea to stay friends with an ex (or stay in contact with an ex) unless children are involved and the other party is the biological/legally adoptive parent. Keeping an ex in your life means that you are welcoming future drama because something is bound to go wrong if you start seeing someone new. Either the ex will become jealous or the new partner will have issues with your closeness with your ex.

I think its best to cut off contact completely. Staying in contact will only prolong the grieving process.

We were no contact. The reason for the contact he was in a car accident in Oct his mom couldn't get ahold of his dad and stepmom I was like the next closet family found out he deleted my number out of her phone as if I don't exist.

Recently, his mom's truck got stolen and told him to keep me up to date about it. She got a new SUV, the dealership wrote the truck off as a complete loss and he told me he is doing good at his job. He said he is not off the cane yet from the accident but almost the pain from the injury is gone by doing physical therapy. Life stuff like that his mom told me that day in the hospital she caught him crying but he doesn't know she saw him yet he never talked to her about what's wrong she said it's because you are out of his life. I don't think he has told her about our break up, but I told her. He told a friend that we are separated no longer seeing each other sounds like he still wants me back without actually saying it.

I don't text him daily I say what I say and I move on. I'm still blocked online! I don't ask him for anything told him we shouldn't have contact at all. If something happens to him again, who is gonna contact me? His mom again I am the closet family.

Yea, true a new partner could have issues with this. Not looking for one; well looking for a fwbs right now with a woman and I have a male friend I wouldn't mind ****ing. Ex knew about my thing for women still he could get jealous he is a jealous person but shows it indirectly but called me out on my jealousy towards a girl he was messing with this past July.