How can you recognize people who will become abusive as a friend?

introm · Jan 05, 2016 at 08:48 PM

How can you know in advance that being friends with someone is heading to a fall?

People (not all, but most) tend to be quite charming at the beginning of a relationship, but then they show their true self.

How to spot egomaniacs, control freaks, leeches, easily angered people?

I just don't want to go all the way through, invest my time and nerves just to be stuck to a kind of passive-aggressive bully.

TishaBuv · Jan 05, 2016 at 08:57 PM

You can't tell until they do or say things that send up red flags. You just have to give 'em a chance.

introm · Jan 05, 2016 at 09:36 PM

So, it's the best you can do just a leap in the dark?

ChipperMonkey · Jan 06, 2016 at 12:29 AM

Take friendships slowly so that you don't become overly attached right away, before the person shows their true self.

There are good people out there who won't hide themselves from the beginning. Well, I guess we all put our best foot forward at first as it's just natural to not trust others when we first meet them.

Just be on the lookout for red flags. If something odd pops up, examine the situation to determine if it's something you can accept in a friendship. Just remember that nobody is perfect and we all have our own issues that we deal with.

TishaBuv · Jan 06, 2016 at 07:06 AM

When you meet someone who is potentially a new friend or love, there is something about them that you like and that draws you to them. You trust in your instincts and explore them further until they give you reason to be alarmed.

There is also a lot that people will decide to put up with in others that is far less than perfection. We all have faults and we will all have disagreements. There are deal breaker behaviors that we can only decide we can handle once they have materialized.

When you put your heart out there, most likely you get hurt on some level eventually. I guess when the bad far outweighs the good, that's when you move on.

Don't be so afraid of getting hurt that you avoid living life.

There's that expression "It's better to have loved and lost than never having loved at all".

TishaBuv · Jan 06, 2016 at 02:10 PM

I should also add, you try to communicate and give people a chance to change when things start going wrong before giving up on them.

marmaduke · Jan 06, 2016 at 05:12 PM

Listen carefully. Notice in discrepancies (lies). Do they run other people down, talk non stop, do you feel at ease with them.
Look and listen to red flags.

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How can you recognize people who will become abusive as a friend?

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TishaBuv Legendary Member Since Dec 2014 Location: USA Posts: 10,258 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,879 hugs given	Jan 05, 2016 at 08:57 PM #2 You can't tell until they do or say things that send up red flags. You just have to give 'em a chance. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T
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introm Member Member Since Aug 2013 Posts: 39 10	Jan 05, 2016 at 09:36 PM #3 So, it's the best you can do just a leap in the dark?
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TishaBuv Legendary Member Since Dec 2014 Location: USA Posts: 10,258 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,879 hugs given	Jan 06, 2016 at 02:10 PM #6 I should also add, you try to communicate and give people a chance to change when things start going wrong before giving up on them. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T
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marmaduke Poohbah Member Since Sep 2013 Location: USA Posts: 1,239 10 362 hugs given	Jan 06, 2016 at 05:12 PM #7 Listen carefully. Notice in discrepancies (lies). Do they run other people down, talk non stop, do you feel at ease with them. Look and listen to red flags. Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk
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