My therapist is saying that this doesn't sound like my parents are self centered people. The thing is I want to believe him, but sometimes I wonder if he's spouting a bunch of malarkey. Basically here are the things that make me wonder. When I got really depressed, I was self harming and extremely unwell in general. At first, they assured me that they'd never turn on me. They put up with a lot of my nights of outbursts and "episodes". Pretty much, it was a day by day, minute by minute thing. The only thing was that whenever I cried or expressed any major overt expression like that, my parents (mom especially) would just yell at me to cut it out. I mean, if somebody cared, why would they yell at someone to cut it out whose crying My therapist says that this was simply them being upset by hearing me crying and becoming overwhelmed basically. The thing is I want to believe him, but it just seems cold to yell at someone to cut it out if they are crying. Of course, maybe he has a point

Then, for a while I started getting quite argumentative with them. I basically was arguing with them and being belligerent on a daily basis. Then, they basically gave me an ultimatum to either stop being that way or get out. However, they also included in the ultimatum of things to stop in order to stay, "not being negative unless there is a productive point to it". My Mom had previously threatened to leave the house if I kept expressing pointless negative statements. Then, they also threatened to force me to check myself into a hospital for my self harm if it continued with my own money. The latter threat didn't follow through. I did end up injuring myself again unfortunately, but that didn't happen. Instead, they seemed to feel badly and made it a point to be extra loving towards me that day. Later on, I had another episode that was really bad...... too potentially triggering to others to even mention on here. They stuck by me through that night I'll say.

My therapist seems to feel like these are all things that indicate them caring very much about me, and aren't indicators of being cold and callous. I certainly want to agree with him, but at times I find myself wondering if he's spouting malarkey without realizing it. Sorry if this sounds off base, I have autism. I don't always read social cues very well, so I tend to linger in a state of confusion on things like this. Still the mere giving of an ultimatum of any kind to a depressed person or yelling at someone crying to cut it out just sounds like the behavior of a cold, callous person. Of course, I could definitely be wrong. I can also see my therapist's point of view on this, and he very well may be right. I just need a second opinion on this.

[yagr]

The short answer is, based on the information you've provided, I agree wholeheartedly with your therapist. I am sorry you are struggling, but your parents seem very caring.

Consider this: You started getting quite belligerent and argumentative with them on a daily basis. Does that seem cold and callous? I don't think so - I think you were just overwhelmed. .They get that way too.

Originally Posted by Steve223

My therapist is saying that this doesn't sound like my parents are self centered people. They put up with a lot of my nights of outbursts and "episodes". Pretty much, it was a day by day, minute by minute thing. The only thing was that whenever I cried or expressed any major overt expression like that, my parents (mom especially) would just yell at me to cut it out. I mean, if somebody cared, why would they yell at someone to cut it out whose crying My therapist says that this was simply them being upset by hearing me crying and becoming overwhelmed basically.

I agree with your T.

Your parents are expressing their frustration by yelling, because they can no longer cope with your outbursts. I'm not saying that your parents are right to do so, just that they are human, they are feeling depleted and they just don't know what else to do.

[divine1966]

I agree with your therapist. Now are you getting any treatment besides therapy. It sounds like you are having such hard time

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[healingme4me]

When people get overwhelmed with the day to day caregiving aspects of what it sounds like your home is like, it's not uncommon to react that way.
Are your parents also seeking counseling? Is this a family effort?
Their reactions sound like out of frustration. Yes, they probably needed to follow through on hospitalization instead of apologetic and non boundary setting. Probably codependent versus being uncaring. Untrained instead of uncaring.

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[scorpiosis37]

I agree with your T.

[Random]

I think your parents do in fact love you, quite a bit actually. They are just being pushed to their limits, they worry about you, you admit yourself that you can be difficult to them and that kind of stuff stresses people. Im sure at times in your life someone you love has had a hard time for long enough where you got frazzled from it and had negative moments. I know I have, its normal and most wouldnt get anywhere near that point unless it was someone they loved deeply. Why? Because if they didnt, they would have cut ties and bolted long before hand.

Interesting. It seems like everyone has a very different view of it than I did. It wasn't just my therapist saying that. Apparently, it's the general consensus here. I definitely believe it since everybody seems to be saying this. That's good to know.