[creatingself]

I have been in contact with my ex boyfriend and I didn't mention that i am currently in a relationship because i thought what kind of a ***** i am that I just hook guys up and stuff. Now the conversations were friendly and like old times. From my side, it was just friendly. When my bf asked me if i was still in touch with my ex, i forgot that i was and said i haven't been since the last 2 years. He by mistake saw the chat where I had conversed with ex a month ago and he didn't believe i had forgotten. On top of that i lied that i had told my ex i was in a relationship and faked a conversation with my friend where she corroborates that i had told my ex about my bf. I am a horrible person I know. I was trying to cover up my lies to dissolve the matter but i got aggressive with my bf when he didn't believe my fake chat to make him believe it was true. Also I hung out with people he didn't like and lied that i hadn't. Now he hates me and can't trust me naturally. He has emotionally broken up with me and he absolutely loathes me. I promised him I wouldn't lie to him again and i haven't in the last 4 days (since i made the promise). He is still not believing me and he still hates me. What should I do? How can I gain back his trust and get the relationship back to normal?

[JustJenny]

Why did you talk to your ex pretending that you are single and not tell about talking to your ex to your boyfriend? My first thought is that you are still in love with your ex and you are in your current relationship just to avoid being single.

The first thing you should do is understand your own feelings. Do you love your current boyfriend and do you really want to patch things up? Or would you prefer to go back to your ex?

And why did your boyfriend go through your personal conversations?

[divine1966]

Well if your conversation with your ex was just casual passing by hello and good bye maybe not a big deal . Or was it intimate kind of talk.

My fiancée knows I am in contact with my ex husband ( we have a daughter together, she is an adult but still). If there is a quick contact like happy new year or mentioning some accomplishment by my daughter I often don't pay much attention to it, I of course reply to him but I don't think about it afterwards and I don't run to my fiancée every time. I don't think it's a big deal. It would be if we chatted for hours. Or if he didn't know we talk once in awhile or if we had no kids together .

There must be a need for you to lie. Look into it. Why do you lie to him and mostly why talk to ex especially not like bumping on him by accident but actually chatting? Do you still like him?



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[Trippin2.0]

I don't believe we can really be honest with others if we are unable to be honest with ourselves...


There's a reason you chose to chat to your ex, there's a reason you didn't mention it to your bf, a reason you "forgot" and roped in your friend to corroborate your lies.


Until you are honest with yourself about those reasons and intentions, trust will be most difficult to rebuild.

[Steiner of Thule]

Trust isn't something that is easily patched up and you'd probably be better off breaking things off officially with your new ex bf. Don't lie so much next time.

[Bill3]

Also I hung out with people he didn't like and lied that i hadn't.

What would have happened if you told had him the truth about who you hung out with?

[divine1966]

Why can't you hang out with people he doesn't like? Unless you are hanging out with them in a romantic sense

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[~Christina]

The layers of lies your dealing with in my opinion shows that you really are not serious about your current boyfriend, Something is missing..

Maybe you should spend some time being single and figuring out how to have a healthy relationship.

Good luck