How to learn to trust

My relationship with my bf is fragile. He will lie to protect his son. Recently lied to my face several times regarding his son. How do I get past this?

How old is his son? What were the things he was covering up (i.e. was it something the son did or was it something your bf did to/with his son)?

In my life... Trust has to be earned. If there is no trust there is not a chance in hell for a healthy relationship.

As JustJenny asked ... Age of son etc?

More info if you are comfortable sharing, would probably get more direct advise .

Welcome to PC

I have an ex who would be willing to lie and cover up and hurt other people in order to keep his adult kids happy ( in his perception). Unfortunately it ( among other things) cost him a relationship and he is now single with one of his "failure to launch" kids is living with him and off him. I have happily moved on.

I wondered what is that he lies about?



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Hi son is 20. He covers his son pot smoking, his son broke a kitchen item, I heard it fall and break, bf said he did it even though he wasn't home. We went on vacation and the rule was no one in the house, he looked me straight in the eyes and said no one is allowed in the house and he know it. There was a party and then bf said he told him he could have 1 person over but to my face told me he told him no one. And then lied about punishing him, he didn't.The lie can be anything, to the point I take pictures of things because he can't lie.

Hi son is 20. He covers his son pot smoking, his son broke a kitchen item, I heard it fall and break, bf said he did it even though he wasn't home. We went on vacation and the rule was no one in the house, he looked me straight in the eyes and said no one is allowed in the house and he know it. There was a party and then bf said he told him he could have 1 person over but to my face told me he told him no one. And then lied about punishing him, he didn't.The lie can be anything, to the point I take pictures of things because he can't lie.

Hi son is 20. He covers his son pot smoking, his son broke a kitchen item, I heard it fall and break, bf said he did it even though he wasn't home. We went on vacation and the rule was no one in the house, he looked me straight in the eyes and said no one is allowed in the house and he know it. There was a party and then bf said he told him he could have 1 person over but to my face told me he told him no one. And then lied about punishing him, he didn't.The lie can be anything, to the point I take pictures of things because he can't lie.

Hi,

Sorry you are struggling. How long have you guys been living together? Was his son living there before you moved in? Sharing some more details might help your chat pals on giving you some advice.

Good luck,

moogs

more info needed,

You asked how to learn to trust. But, this isn't about trust. You know your bf is lying to your face. It sounds like you need to decide if you just want to accept he is lying to you or put up with an annoying issue where you feel like you have to take photos to prove you are not going crazy.

My ex's adult daughter stole from us and from her sister and broke and ruined things all the time. And my ex would still deny it. It drove me so nuts I could not handle it. He also demanded I put up with this because she is s child. She was 25 at the time, healthy. Still he said I should treat her as a child. Lol I don't think you can ever change it. Have nightmares from living like this. Save yourself

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Hi son is 20. He covers his son pot smoking, his son broke a kitchen item, I heard it fall and break, bf said he did it even though he wasn't home. We went on vacation and the rule was no one in the house, he looked me straight in the eyes and said no one is allowed in the house and he know it. There was a party and then bf said he told him he could have 1 person over but to my face told me he told him no one. And then lied about punishing him, he didn't.The lie can be anything, to the point I take pictures of things because he can't lie. I moved in 10/2014, yes his son was living here when I moved in.

Hi son is 20. He covers his son pot smoking, his son broke a kitchen item, I heard it fall and break, bf said he did it even though he wasn't home. We went on vacation and the rule was no one in the house, he looked me straight in the eyes and said no one is allowed in the house and he know it. There was a party and then bf said he told him he could have 1 person over but to my face told me he told him no one. And then lied about punishing him, he didn't.The lie can be anything, to the point I take pictures of things because he can't lie. I moved in 10/2014, yes his son was living here when I moved in.

I moved in 10/2014. Yes his son was. We've been together for 8 yrs.
Hi son is 20. He covers his son pot smoking, his son broke a kitchen item, I heard it fall and break, bf said he did it even though he wasn't home. We went on vacation and the rule was no one in the house, he looked me straight in the eyes and said no one is allowed in the house and he know it. There was a party and then bf said he told him he could have 1 person over but to my face told me he told him no one. And then lied about punishing him, he didn't.The lie can be anything, to the point I take pictures of things because he can't lie.

The son is an adult. Is he planning to move out at some point to start an independent life of his own?

I am confused. Same post 3 times

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He says he wants to but BF said he will try to keep him home, he's araid he will get into worse stuff( drugs) on his own. So bf does everything for him.