[mf1438]

We both suppress our emotions. We both grew up in dysfunctional environments where we learned to suppress emotions. Real men don’t cry. Don’t let anyone know how you really feel. Don’t get emotionally dependent on anyone because they could be gone tomorrow and you could be heart broken.

I just finished a counseling session and came to realize that we lack a deep emotional connection, filled with empathy and compassion. I’m missing the sex, but the emotional bonding is something I’m missing too.

I feel like I’m holding back. All or none. Either she goes all the way with or I don’t want to get my hopes up. I don’t want to get emotionally invested. I don’t want to tell her how I’m feeling, starved for her love and affection.

If I tell her this, if I let her know how I feel and she refuses to comfort me and console me then I will feel like boo boo the fool, like I opened myself up to disappointment and discouragement. I would be exposing my vulnerabilities at a great risk.

[TishaBuv]

Go ahead and tell her. Forming an emotional connection is about exposing your vulnerabilities. You will be a better man for doing it. I hope she gets with the program for your marriage's sake.

[nicoleflynn]

It takes courage to be vuleranable and honest, but that is what we are supposed to be if we want a relationship. Be real....tell her. Holding back just makes you more miserable, and goes knowwhere...as you know, since you are in therapy.

Telling her directly would be a good idea, but also you can take her for a romantic evening like for a dinner in some fancy restaurant. Gestures work, too. Good luck.