[AnkitaJain123]

Hi all

It is very sad to know that still the society does not accept a widow lady to get married again. But i personally feels that it is wrong. Every one should have the opportunity to spend there life happily. Last month my elder sister lost her husband in car accident. It was just 6 months of her marriage. So i thought to register her profile in matrimonial sites to find her perfect match online. So friends i need your suggestion is their anything wrong in getting widow remarriage. Friends please make your suggestion so that i can carry out with my decision for her.

[Skeezyks]

Hello AnkitaJain123: I see this is your first post here on PsychCentral... so... welcome... from the Skeezyks! I'm sorry your sister lost her husband. As far as remarriage goes... I don't see any reason why your sister should not remarry. Just as you wrote... everyone should have the opportunity to spend their lives happily. I would suggest though that you be careful registering your sister on matrimonial sites on-line. The internet can be a dangerous place. And, besides, since it's only been 6 months since your sister lost her husband, she may or may not feel ready to begin socializing again... just a thought. Perhaps you might want to discuss this with her before you proceed. Good luck!

[divine1966]

Plenty of widows marry again. Which society doesn't accept that?

I don't understand though registering your sister on dating sites a month after her husband passed. A month? Who wants to date after month of their spouses death?????

Plus it should be her decision not yours

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[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello AnkitaJain123: I see this is your first post here on PsychCentral... so... welcome... from the Skeezyks! I'm sorry your sister lost her husband. As far as remarriage goes... I don't see any reason why your sister should not remarry. Just as you wrote... everyone should have the opportunity to spend their lives happily. I would suggest though that you be careful registering your sister on matrimonial sites on-line. The internet can be a dangerous place. And, besides, since it's only been 6 months since your sister lost her husband, she may or may not feel ready to begin socializing again... just a thought. Perhaps you might want to discuss this with her before you proceed. Good luck!

It's been a month not 6.

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[Webgoji]

Nothing wrong with a widow getting remarried in my book.

Nothing wrong with remarriage, but it has only been a month since she lost her husband and it is HER decision as to whether to register herself on an online matching service. It seems extremely intrusive for you to presume to do that for her (or anyone really) and to do so only a month after her husband died just seems very insensitive.

Originally Posted by AnkitaJain123

Friends please make your suggestion so that i can carry out with my decision for her.

You don't get to make this decision for her. Why do you presume you have the power and right to do so?

[Rose76]

Hi Ankita. It really is not your place to register your sister's profile in a matrimonial site online. She can do that, herself, if she wants to. You can help her with that, if she'ld like you to.

Now is a bit too soon to think about that. Your sister needs to be on her own for a year or two, at least, before she begins seriously seeing new men. Otherwise she might make a bad decision about who to get involved with. She needs time to heal from her loss.

Perhaps it's cultural....

Originally Posted by AnkitaJain123

Hi all

It is very sad to know that still the society does not accept a widow lady to get married again. But i personally feels that it is wrong. Every one should have the opportunity to spend there life happily. Last month my elder sister lost her husband in car accident. It was just 6 months of her marriage. So i thought to register her profile in matrimonial sites to find her perfect match online. So friends i need your suggestion is their anything wrong in getting widow remarriage. Friends please make your suggestion so that i can carry out with my decision for her.

What do you mean by "the society does not accept a widow lady to get married again?". It's not allowed legally or what exactly?

[healingme4me]

Why is it presumed that your sister needs to get remarried right away?

Many widows find themselves financially sustainable. Plus, most widows that I know need plenty of space to grieve.

[eskielover]

The first year after a spouses death is the most difficult because the grieving process goes through all the holidays & the memories of the previous time whey spend with the spouse. Just because your sister was only married for 6 months doesn't lessen the time that it takes to grieve.

Most times it takes several years to process the death & to get used to who you are without being defined by the relationship any longer. Jumping into another relationship is NOT a good idea so quickly. Finding someone after the death of a spouse is a very personal decision & shouldn't be pushed or made by anyone other than the person who has been widowed.

[lizardlady]

I'm wondering how much of the OP's question is culturally based? I notice she lives in India. Traditions there may be very different from Western culture. I admit that I'm ignorant enough about Indian culture to not know.

Am going to answer from my Western perspective. In my opinion it is a very individual decision. I have been widowed for 15 years (was young widow). I'm happy with being single. That is not what others want though. It's up to each woman to decide for herself.

I will say that it should be up to the widow to decide if/when she wants to look for another mate. I believe listing her name on a site for people looking for a new mate is presumptuous. I can see offering to help her create a listing if she asks for help, but it's not anyone else's place to do it for her. Personally, I would have been royally, er, "ripped" if someone had listed me on such a site, especially only a month after my husband died! Fer pity's sake I was still dealing with practicalities at that point.

[Dorkster]

I can see where one could still "see" the stigma of "widows marrying again" in society today. My Mom asked me once while we were out if it was ok for Her to dance with another man and she even said something along the lines that my Dad was the only Man for her. I got confused for a second and than I told her that Of course that would be ok because I completely understood her pain and her wanting to dance with someone. It was the sweetest thing watching my Parents dancing. They were so very much in LOVE and married for over 30 years. They were each others "Love of their Lifes" and this is my Moms decision to make if she wants to marry again or not.
I guess what I am getting at is talk with your Sister FIRST! Your sister may or may not want to get right back into a relationship. Everyone takes different amounts of time to "get over" situations that happen in life. Maybe, instead of pushing your sister into another relationship, maybe You could focus on the relationship You two have. What it your sister just wants to focus on herself and figure out what her Dreams are now, before she was with her husband and they had "together" goals and dreams, maybe now since he passed (my condolences) she wants to go to Europe and study art or learn to surf and travel the world circuit, this list is endless with possibilities. The point here that I am trying to convey is communication is always the key, talk to your sister. Most likely she may take longer than you think to figure things out. JUST BE THERE FOR HER and help anyway possible with HER decision, not what you think she should do.