[Jenn1fer82]

There's another reason why I want to stop having sex with him beside the fact that we've rushed into things. The times we've had sex he's always insisted to not use a condom. It always took me to stop him in the act and have him use the condom. The last time we had sex it went past the line and too close. He kept insisting that things would okay without the condom but I stop us and had us use the condom. I really dont know if I could trust him that the next time we have sex that he would volunteer to use the condom or not. I just dont want to find myself in that uncomfortable situation again.

I've talked to him about this and said that I don't want to have sex anymore because of the two reasons of us rushing into things and that I just don't trust him with wanting to use a condom.

his lack of concern for your safety is showing disrespect to you as a woman and a girlfriend.

my suggestion is to drop him like a hot rock.......xoxox pat

[UCLAFan]

A guy that do's not want to use one.Is not respecting you and i'd drop him. But i understand you might be lonely due to the Epilepsy. But do u want to have a baby and the guy just leaves you with all the work?I'm not saying that will happen. But i'd be careful.

[asylumgardens]

What did he say when you told him that those were the two reasons?

I agree, him not being willing to wear a condom is disrespecting you.

[Wants2Fly]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
fayerody said:
his lack of concern for your safety is showing disrespect to you as a woman and a girlfriend.

my suggestion is to drop him like a hot rock.......xoxox pat

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Pat has that one right. He is disrespecting you and is having poor impulse control.

one more thing, if he is so selfish that he won't wrap it before he uses it...........do you WANT to have a relationship with him??? think about it.......his lack of self-control will play out in many, many other ways down the road. xoxox pat

[seeker1950]

I agree with Fayerody...
Bottom line is ...this makes babies...do you want one on your own right now?
Patty

[Wants2Fly]

Far, far worse than making babies -- This makes AIDS -- are you ready for that?

[(JD)]

Are you strong enough to say no and mean it? Are you strong enough and care enough about yourself to drop him? One way to find out just what he "loves" about you is to stop having sexual relations. If all he talks about and pushes on you, and always comes back to is sex, then you know he doesn't care about you...just himself and his desires.

I hope you can tell him goodbye. He isn't worth the headaches and heartaches imo. TC

[Direction]

I'm a guy...never liked the condom...was not very sexually active with many people...though I never once...never...was asked to use one...at least I think it was a mutual decision...Though now 12 years later this much more to be concerned about...

[Wants2Fly]

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Direction said:
I'm a guy...never liked the condom...

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I'm a female -- never much liked it either -- on the other hand, it's a life-or-death choice, until you are in a committed relationship and both parties have clean HIV and STD tests.

[Direction]

I agree on the test now a days...I'm also done having children on a permanent basis...

you do know that now you've had unprotected sex with him, you've had sex with everyone he's had sex with......infected or uninfected....

[MOJO3]

The only thing I can think of in order to stop having sex with him .... you would have to marry him. I have heard that works for some people.

You have a delimma...once you take the plunge it is very hard to unplunge.

[MOJO3]

I do know this from personal experience...if he is disrepecting you in the most intimate of moments than it won't take very long before it begins to surface in other areas of your life...and taking chances with your health and well being for passion or lust is the ultimate in disrespect.

[greenpunkergirl]

Girlie,
Unprotected sex is the biggest risk you can take with a man. Both my guy and I took a test together before we started having unprotected sex. We also got on the birth control. It is very important that you consider birth control, condoms or not.
Sadly, do to the fact that you let him do that without a condom, he is going to expect that you let him do that again. If you really do not want to do it again with condoms, you are going to have to stand firm, even though the pressure will be on. Doing it without a condom is the ultimate sign of love between a man and a woman. You are saying that you trust them completely, and in reality, are risking a lot of yourself physically as well as emotionally. Please get on the birth control, and make him use a condom until you are ready to take it a step further.

[regrets]

It is simple... just don't have any type of sex with him anymore, it is your body. If he cares about you at all he will respect your wishes. If he don't then you don't need him.

If you continue to have sex with him and he refuses to use a condom, use the female condoms, they are made of polyurethane, they can be inserted and worn hours before doing the deed.

As far as STD's go, if he is having sex with anyone else, and having sex with you, you are increasing your chances of getting an STD, some are curable and some are not.

Gonorrhea and Chlamydia are both cureable, but alot of women might not have any symptoms, and did you know if you have oral sex you can get either of these in your throat.

HPV (warts) and Herpes are not curable, this is something you would have to live with the rest of your life. Some strains of HPV cause cervical cancer. Herpes is very painful when outbreaks occur.

HIV of course is not treatable but a disease that can be managed if detected early. The HIV test looks for antibodies in the blood, it can take a persons body three months to make those antibodies which will show up in the test, this is called the "window period", that means that if it has been less than 3 months since your last risky behavior and you get tested your results could be unreliable.

So why would you risk your health for his sexual satisfaction? Ask your self is it really worth it? What can you do to protect yourself? It is easy... if you are going to have sex, make him use a condom, if he won't then you can use the female condom. Better safe than sorry.

You are obviously a very smart person and you know what you need to do.

Be smart and be safe, take care of YOU.

[pescador]

Rushed? Refuses condom? If this guy does not understand NO then he totally does not care about you only his own wants.

[skeptical07]

You said it all to begin with, "We rushed into having sex"! That is the main problem here! It doesn't really matter what happens next, because he already got what he wanted. What happened to getting to know someone first and then having a meaningful relationship without having sex? Sex is something I believe should only be done in marriage between a man and a woman in love! If this was the case, it would solve lots of problems!!!!!!!

[Direction]

I agree with Mojo3's post about disrepecting in other areas will surface...

[Jenn1fer82]

Hi everyone,

I appreciate for all the inputs that I've been receiving. This hasn't been an easy thing for me to handle right now and I need all the support I could get and to help me see this situation in a different light. Right now my mind is so cluttered that its so hard to grasp my own intutions and I find myself doubting my gut feelings.

It has open my eyes when everyone has said that once he has crossed that boundary of respect with me that it will eventually show up in other areas of the relationships.

[(JD)]

[Wants2Fly]

So glad. For me, seeing things from others' perspectives is a main benefit of being here.