[LandShark]

Let start out, I'm a Bi-Polar 1, ADHD & have a General Anxiety Disorder. I've been on disability for 10 years & am reasonable stable. I see my Psych 4 times a year for medication management.

My husband hasn't worked in 10 years because of an inheritance that we received.

As I've been trying to type this thread, I realize just how much of a mess that my marriage is. I'm going to concentrate on this behavior because it's the latest thing on my mind. I'm going to have to see a counselor to straighten this out in my head (& maybe make some hard decisions)!

Every morning when I get up, I take the dog out, fix breakfast & eat it; well attempt to eat it is more likely. Every time that I sit down, here comes my husband to talk & talk & talk & talk; for 3 hours, no less (No kidding, I've timed it!).

All I ask for in life is to be able to eat my breakfast & drink my coffee undisturbed. I don't know how to get him to understand this.

I've listened quietly while choking down breakfast & it turns into a ball of concrete in my stomach. Then I've tried the tactic of not eating the food that I just prepared -- he finally notices & asks why I'm not eating. I've told him that I want to give him my undivided attention until he gets done; then I choke down my cold food to keep from getting into an argument.

I've asked him politely, told him point blank, yelled, got belligerent & even, almost started throwing things just so I can have this one request.

We always get into an argument (all of our arguments are "yell-fests") about this, for some reason he just doesn't get it & I don't know how to get through to him. I don't care about what he has say, I don't try to listen to him; I just want to get it over with so I can have some peace.

He gets passive aggressive, stomps off, pouts, avoids me all day & sometimes leaves for awhile. We don't eat dinner together & we don't speak to each other. At the end of the day, he asks did I get want; not having to talk or have contact with him ALL day! He also speaks so softly, I can't always hear what he says.

He gets it in his head that if I make a "scene" about breakfast; that what I really want is not to have contact at all. I've tried to explain it to him, over & over, I want my breakfast undisturbed; can I please have that one thing?

BTW, if he leaves he always brings back a "peace" offering. He gave me an expensive piece of jewelry once that I absolutely hate because it was after a bad argument. I almost threw it in the trash can; hoping he'd find it there. I don't wear it & have finally stuck it into the back of my jewelry box.

This morning I had enough & when he started talking, I stopped making breakfast & sat down on the sofa. He asked me why & I told him that I wanted to make sure nothing would get into way of giving him my undivided attention.

This is when he said that I was acting "mental", would I quit doing this because he hates it when I do it. I shut down after that, didn't hear a word he said, except that I have other "mental" behaviors, & certainty wasn't going to ask him about how to not act, by his definition, "mental".

I have no idea what he is talking about & how do I fix it. The only possible solution to this is to keep my head down, my mouth shut, choke down my food, sit on the sofa, knit & wait for death.

Of course, he went into his usual passive aggressive behavior. He left for awhile & his "peace" offering was one of my favorite piece's of candy. I can't eat it & will sneak it into the trash.

This "fight" over breakfast, has been going on for 10 years. Sometimes, he'll give me several weeks or days of peace, then goes back to talking, talking, talking. I start back into choking my food down.

I don't know how long I'll get some peace, but I know if I try to ask about stop being "mental"; he'll accuse me of trying to start another argument.

Now, I have partial hearing loss & wear hearing aids, wish I had total hearing loss so I could shut my hearing aids off & let him talk his head off.

As I've said in the beginning of this thread that I've realized that there's a lot more that is going on!

In the end, how do I feel? Try the song "Let Me Entertain You".

[healingme4me]

I don't realize how wanting quiet time to drink coffee and eat breakfast has anything to do with being "mental." isn't it just lovely(sarcasm) how convenient it is to label a relatively normal request as a character flaw. Three hour conversations?? No that's questionable!

[Trippin2.0]

His three hour one sided conversations are mental.

[TishaBuv]

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

You are living in a war zone.

You could give up on the idea of breakfast in your house, and go out for breakfast every morning by yourself. You could get a job and get out of the house all together.

There are lots of ways to solve this conflict.

[divine1966]

I'll go out for breakfast. Starting tomorrow. What's he talking about for three hours????

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[unaluna]

Why dont you get a divorce or at least a trial separation? You could have all your meals in peace and maybe he can find someone who doesnt mind his yakking. Obviously neither of you can change or find a solution together.