Forging healthier relationships

It's kind of a realization that I've come to that I really do need to start making healthier relationships, friendships, things like that. I've started that mostly by reaching out to old friends I haven't talked to in a while (it was kind of like after 2013 I became kind of a hermit, as far as I can recall), reaching out to people (here, for example, is a wonderful place. Thank you. ) and things like that, but I think I could use more advice on finding good friends. I'm not really very social, I'm pretty introverted (have been since I was a kid, really. I wasn't very talkative), so...this is kind of a minefield for me to navigate. How do I make new friends? How do I cultivate healthy relationships? I admit it does feel like a skill I need to relearn.

Hello ladyrevan21: The Skeezyks is pretty-much a hermit himself. So he's probably not the best person to reply to your post. But if he were to want to get out & make new friends, he would find some volunteer work to do in some area of interest. Not every person he would meet would become a friend. But, his thinking would be that, within a community of like-minded people, would be where he would be most likely to find individuals with whom he might be able to develop friendships. Plus he would, presumably, be contributing to the well-being of the community & the people within it.

I did what Skeezyks suggested I volunteered and made some of the best friends ever, I agree shared interests and passions are a good place to start. Volunteering, hobby groups, sports groups, lots of people on here post positively about online local meet up groups (although I haven't tried this myself).

When getting out and about my advice to you would be to take things slowly, not to fret if things don't go as you hoped, it's like mud on the wall - sooner or later you'll find some great people you can click with.

You sound like an open sort of person and probably don't need this advice but I'll write this anyway - keep your mind open, curious, interested, listen to people and find out about them. As a quieter kind of person you'll probably find you're good at that, but also when you feel ready share a little of yourself too (that was something that didn't come so easily to me, but once I cracked it friendships developed).

Good luck

Volunteering is the best way to make friends, to network without trying about knowing more things in the community, and finding others like ourselves who understand us. I just know you will do well (((hugs)))

Thank you, everyone who replied. Really.

Skeezyks: I think volunteer work really could work! I was thinking of probably doing some at one point -- working at soup kitchens, things like that. There's a lot of people out there suffering, and I'm thinking not only can I meet people, but I can also make a difference. I'm not God, but I can at least try and help someone. (Of course, considering my anger management issues, etc. it's probably a very, very, very good thing that I'm not God)

Prefabsprout: Yeah, volunteer work sounds good. In terms of hobby groups, I have a gaming group that I go to, but I think going and finding some other hobby groups would be good as well. (As for online local meetups...who knows?) And yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Fortunately I've met some pretty nice people -- some I've actually met in really odd situations (such as getting locked out of math class when I came early, having to leave math class thanks to an anxiety attack, having to wait outside school in the cold because the battery on my iPhone wore out and I forgot to bring a charger...things of that nature) which proves that sometimes, life does set up happy accidents. I mean none of those situations were fun, but I met some pretty cool people there, and I felt less...like an island, so to speak. And yeah, I'm trying to keep my mind open. I need all the options I can get, after all. And being curious about people is a good place to start, it really is.

And thanks.

Omegalamed: I might try volunteering. I'll have to look and see if there's any place I can help out, but I'm sure I can find something. And thank you. I hope I do well.

So, it looks like volunteer work is the best way to go. I'm going to have to look for some -- it can be working in shelters, anything really. I'll definitely have time to do it over the summer (which, fortunately for me, starts in May. And hopefully I can survive this Mother's Day without freaking out).