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#1
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This could go on and on so I’m just going to simplify it.
My mother has a brother and a sister. A family argument a long time ago meant that my mother fell out with her mother and therefore the sister stood up for her mom. My mother is the youngest of the family, her sister is a bit bossy and likes to control everything with the mother (at least that’s how it seems to my mother). I see this to an extent. The brother has always being a heavy drinker and this got worse it seems after his divorce with his wife. Yet the ex-wife has gone on holidays with my mom’s mother (many times), creating annoyance between the brother and sister. The older sister on the overhand appeared to recommend this as she wouldn’t have to go on any of these holidays and also the ex-wife has being useful in doing things for my nan that otherwise she would have been asked to do . My mother and her brother ended up disconnected (they didn’t fall out), but the uncle became aggressive to all family members due to the alcohol addiction and my mother found it hard to keep listening to it. Her brother’s health has deteriated to the point where he now hasn’t long to live. I knew this threw my mother’s sister and family kept me up-to-date. I recommended to my mother that she might want to see if her brother would like to see her before he does pass away. In the end she picked up the courage (my mother has some disorder and shy’s away from this stuff), and like I say (the family are all crazy in different ways). My father called the hospital on her behalf to find out if he would like to she her, the answer was yes. My mother and father went, my mother seen him and he seemed happy enough to see her (he is so unwell he can’t communicate easily). The ex-wife rang later that day saying how dare she visit and she must not visit again (because she hadn’t seen him for several years). I was angry at this, because I don’t see how the ex-wife (who my uncle didn’t have much good to say about anyway) seems to constantly be invading the family, like going on holiday with her ex-husband’s mother. I won’t go on anymore. But I feel this argument should never have happened before someone is going to die, and it’s up to my mother and brother to decide, no one else. And I felt recommending her to ask and go was a good thing, not negative. I want your views as people outside of the family to see what you think? |
![]() Anonymous37780, Tsukiko
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#2
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I can't fathom interfering with siblings, regardless of the argument in their adult lives. Not that I've not witnessed first hand end of life squabbles occurring on death beds. If that one visit brought a sense of peace between them, so be it.
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![]() unaluna
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#3
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Thanks for your reply. Also, the son of the brother (my cousin) created a big fuss with his mother over this which resulted in us falling out.
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#4
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This ex wife sounds ridiculous!
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#5
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91, just love those you do: those being impossible just tolerate them but don't give them anymore consideration than you have to. Every family has it's trouble, i don't care who you are. We are all humans so we all tend to fail one way or another. Just realize these things and learn from them. Meanwhile love those around you while you can and have them in your life... blessings and tc
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