Dealing with guys who stare at women....

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Again, forget about age for now. The point is that just about all of the women on here don't like to be stared at. Now, glancing is OK as long as a guy isn't making it obvious that they're not staring at her chest or butt I'd think. I'm sure that maybe some women might find that flattering, but most would not feel that way.

It's the behaviour that is the issue here, not the age. How would you feel if a woman stared at you for a long period of time? Maybe it wouldn't bother you as much. Maybe it might even be flattering to you if you found her to be attractive, but what if she wasn't?

Would that make any difference to you or not? How would you react to that? Again, staring is considered rude, especially when it's clear that person doesn't want to be stared at by giving an unwelcome stare back. And if a woman ignores a man's stare, the chances are high that she is not just shy or playing hard to get, but that she is not interested in the guy who is staring at her.

I don't get why most guys can't be more discreet like us ladies are when it comes to looking at other people we find attractive. What's up with the staring? I'm surprised that you're the only guy who responded to this thread.

Guys, if you're reading this, this isn't a thread meant to insult or bash men! This is all about women NOT liking a certain kind of behaviour! I'd appreciate it if a few brave guys can offer their opinions and insights into this matter! I'm sure that the other ladies on here would appreciate your honest opinions too!

I don't really get stared at these days, but I'm sorry that this happens to you. I guess I'd just advise meeting their eyes in a non-expressive way to let them know you caught them checking you out.

To be advocate for the guys here, I know some very nice ones who just go a bit weak in the presence of beautiful women and do look a bit too long without realising sometimes. All the ones I know would never do it consciously and certainly don't mean harm. I think straight men are just hard wired to notice beautiful women.

I don't mean any offence here, and certainly it's your right to meet their gaze with disapproval.

[QUOTE=Shy Introvert;5136318]-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow, that was bold of you and your friend to do something like that. It sounds like you two enjoyed yourselves back then. I could never be that bold. Taking chances like that is to dangerous, especially now. There are to many weirdos out there who have no respect for women. The media has confirmed that many times unfortunately.[/QUOTE

You say to forget about age, but you keep bringing it up in your posts. It seems to me like their age is a big part of the issue for you. This is odd to me, because when you say "older men" you are talking about men your own age, not older men. I don't understand why it would bother you more to get checked out by men your own age than by younger men. If anything, the younger guys who check out older women tend to be more creepy than the middlw aged men checking out women their own age.

In my opinion what she is saying it's not that she is bothered more or less.

I think She is saying that people who are a bit older had enough time and experience to learn basic manners and rules of behaving in a society. While some much younger men might not have the best manners yet and perhaps some take longer to mature.

It is not a big secret that as people get older they generally behave in a more conservative manner, have different life etc you don't think there is a difference between behavior of most 18 year olds and 60 year olds? Do you think people behave the same?

Hence she is somewhat shocked ( and understandably so) that some older men she observed still have not learned how to behave.

I think you are reading too much into it. It's like if someone said they saw 5 year old jumping up and down screaming and then 25 year old doing the same throwing temper tantrums. Although both events are unpleasant it is shocking that 25 year old would act like a 5 year old. By your logic you should get upset that I even mentioned age and I should make no distinction between the ages.

You yourself said that at 28 you are more like 18 year old socially speaking. And it's ok. If you turn 60 and still behave as you are 18 then it would be more concerning.

I think op us pretty clear on what she is saying. I don't see it confusing at all

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I know, LOL! He was drunk, but still, that's a pretty stupid thing to say! His friend told me that he does that when he's drunk, lol!

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Sorry, I don't know why I said that! I don't think of myself and an older lady either! lol!

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That's good advice. That's what I thought too. I know that they don't mean any harm by it. Men are hardwired to notice beautiful women. Especially since they're often more visual than women.

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Thanks for explaining things for me! You hit the nail on the head with everything that you said!

I wish guys would stare at me.

MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!!
[UPDATED: 4/30/2017]

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!

Ha! He does that when he's drunk? I thought too much alcohol would make his endowment appear more as if he's standing in ice cold water than something to brag about!

I sometimes call myself that too as a joke lol

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Yes, I "single out" older men because I'm talking about ME. I said I HAVE trouble with older men. And by "older" I mean 20 or 30 years, like in their 70's at least. And USUALLY older men are more polite than younger me (my age or younger). I've had this problem since I was a teenager. It's gotten worse as I have gotten older. Young guys can be polite and old guys can be creepy. I've experienced both but it's usually OLDER MEN THAT CREEP ME OUT.

I agree with another member who said older men generally have more manners or behave better. They are from another generation.

I don't find it a compliment. It's creepy. When I joined Match in 2007, I got messages from men in their 70's and older. I was 45 back then. Gross.....

I just found a guy who's a friend said he might have liked seeing the women who were dressed like *****s at the "work source" center. I told him I don't think they help with that type of work, and why were they dressed like that.

I know men are "hard-wired" this way, but it still makes me sick. Sure, I notice good looking guys but I don't STARE blantantly like so many men do. Be subtle for crying outloud! If I poked their eyes out, they'd never stare at anything or anyone again.

I bet Neandethals (literally) had better manners. I'm old enough to be the mother (or grandmother!!) of younger guys, ones say 30 or so, and under. So staring from younger guys would be creepy too but I just don't have that problem. If they are subtle, that's good. Staring AND the age is the problem.

I'm stopping now since I had breakfast not long ago and I don't want to lose it.

For me, they stare because of the feminine, attractive or sexy clothes and when I carry myself with attitude.

Ok, I am still a bit confused. First you say that the older men are usually more polite than the men your age or younger, but then you say it's usually the older men who are being creepy.

It's creepier when they're older because its firstly unexpected (read usually polite generation), and secondly they're half corpse, so just eeeuw.

When I was 22, I went to the islands with my aunt who was 44. This man who was like 80 walked over to us, passed over my aunt, and tried to hit on me.

I guess what I am confused about is, it seems to me like the physical unattractiveness factor is a big part of why you seem to have an issue with with these older men checking you out. Well, then, what about unattractive men your age and younger? Would you have this same problem with an ugly 50 or 30 or 20 year old guy checking you out?

To me, something seems wrong about judging a person's actions more harshly simply because they look a certain way.

To answer your questions, honestly, staring would only bother me if I don't know why the person is staring at me. If I knew they were staring at me because they were attracted to me, I would love it. Of course I would be most flattered if it is an attractive woman, but if it is an unattractive woman or even a gay guy, I would still be somewhat flattered, because it indicates I am attractive. Sure I would feel kind of nervous because I don't know how to react, but overall I would not be upset with them. This is just me though, I don't expect everyone to feel the same way. I personally love the idea of others finding me physically attractive.

Now, what WOULD make me angry is a person staring at me because they think I am weird or suspicious. In those situations I feel like going over and smashing the person's face into the ground. I find it pretty odd how it is actually more socially acceptable to stare at someone because you find them weird or suspicious than it is to stare at someone because you find them attractive.

It's creepy because 1: He's STARING, and 2: he's old enough to be my grandpa. Not because he looks unattractive. I can't speak on behalf of anyone else but that is the creep factor for me where much older and much younger is concerned. It's just eeeuw both ways. Why would I want to date someone I could have birthed or could've been instrumental in the birth that lead to mine????

Why Shadix?


If you find nothing inappropriate or creepy about it, fine. But don't judge others for having such a visceral reaction.


And its not about being checked out, look if you like what you see, by all means even compliment me, I will say "thank you" graciously.


But DON'T stare and practically salivate, that is the point where you cross the line from complimentary to creepy.


I'm only 32 this year so I wont date younger, just no. It would be like dating a child, however if I were on the dating market I would date my age and a decade + older. Anything older than 50 would be in the parental age range and I find it creepy / inappropriate that someone who's old enough to be your parent (regardless of gender) is ok with wanting to see you naked.


Maybe its because I have strong family values and I'm thinking from a mother / nurturing perspective (eeeuw he could be my son / grandpa), because even my brother says that if he hears guys talking about how they're dating someone much younger, he instinctively thinks they either don't have younger sisters or have no relationship with them. And so far he's usually right.


Again, its not the looking that's the big factor here, its the staring, and you have missed that point completely.


There a huge difference.