[Ceara1010]

I wasn't sure where to put this. I guess it's ultimately a post about dysfunctional families, and there isn't really a dysfunctional family forum (though I think there should be). So, if you also have a really dysfunctional family, this might trigger you.

Anyway...

As I have mentioned in other posts around the forum, I was originally misdiagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic and forcibly committed. This particular nightmare was expedited by so many lies, and so much abuse of authority, and the "intervention" and subsequent "treatment" left me in even worse shape than I was previously. (But that's all another story.)

My sister jumped on the bandwagon when I was misdiagnosed as schizophrenic. She said she found it all "interesting" and she read books on the subject, even related books on nutrition. She wanted to talk about it and encouraged me to do the same. She talked to other people about it, even people at work. (Which made me very uncomfortable.) She tried to involve herself as much as possible. She seemed to find it all kind of neat.

I didn't encourage her interest in the subject as I knew it was the wrong diagnosis.

Fast forward two years: Now that I have been given the right assessment--PTSD--she no longer shows me any support. She doesn't want to talk about it at all. She is very uncomfortable if I even mention it or the things that caused it. All she says is that it’s "good" I finally got the right diagnosis. She isn't interested in doing any reading on the subject or the subject of the things that caused the trauma. She doesn't talk about it to anyone else either.

Whatever it was she found attractive about being schizophrenic, she definitely doesn't find it in my having PTSD. And it is really quite hurtful that she would only show support for me if the illness I have is intellectually interesting to her.

Talk about selfish.

But I think part of it is that the other Dx was easier for her to process and accept. My being schizophrenic would just mean something is out of kilter biologically that can be treated with drugs, so it’s “easier” in a way. It wasn't anyone's fault.

My having PTSD is messier in that it means bad people have done bad things to me and this is ugly and doesn’t fit with her stated general belief that “people are wonderful.” The world is a far more complex place than this, and I see more and more she can’t deal with it at all. He lack of support is probably a form of denial that protects her from painful truths about a whole lot of things regarding human nature.

Besides, like most of the people in my very dysfunctional family, she has a lot of trouble being honest about anything. She has mental health problems herself, but will never ever get help for this because this would force her to be honest with herself, and someone else, about our very dysfunctional family and the effects it’s had on her. If she had the strength to be honest with herself, she would probably have the strength to be honest about people and the world, and thus have the strength to be supportive no matter what my diagnosis.

I am interested to know if anyone else here has family members that can’t deal with their diagnosis at all, whether it be denial, or whatever other reason.

--Ceara1010

[healingme4me]

Not in regards to my mh diagnosis, but in regards to my MS diagnosis, it's been a bizarre experience. My ex husband used to claim that my doctors were full of *fill in the blank*. My father has used my diagnosis to get the pity me experience in talking with friends and if not pity me the join the bandwagon of oh it affects me[um, him] too. Right before my diagnosis and I was going through whatever it was that I was going through post parthum with an MS body((crash and burn experience)) she was all over the internet doing research. Sometimes others have turned their nose up to me for not continuing to try every blasted med available after the first two didn't work out so well. There's only a dozen or so, many ruled out for the failings of the second med.

So I do understand what it's like to have yourself dismissed as everyone around you plays the expert or chooses to ignore it.

Why isn't she as excited about ptsd research as schizophrenia??

And yes, wouldn't a dysfunctional family of origin subforum work well here?

[Bill3]

I think that you have a lot of insight into your sister and why she is not supportive of you now.

My father is not living but I can readily imagine how he would categorically deny that my alcoholic, narcissistic mother did anything wrong in raising me.

[BipolarMama31]

My mother is like this.
I have bipolar and she gets that. She gets that meds will keep me in the middle and its just science.
Im also borderline. She doesnt think that is a thing and ignores it.

Now shes saying my drs are bad bc my symptoms arent better after 5 months of trying. I explained the bipolar is better its the borderline that will take years in dbt therapy. She just doesnt get it.

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[Marylin]

My mother and sister's abuse is what caused me to have my first psychosis and every psychosis after that.

My sister has been jealous of me since I was born,I am the youngest of the two,no other siblings.

I have no doubt she was delighted I had been diagnosed with mental illness.She had no interest in learning about my illness and trying to help me only in continuing to use me for her own interests to be served and my mum too,who wasn't a very physically independent woman and needed carers and someone to fetch and carry for her.

I was the family slave and scapegoat and the emotional and mental cruelty,control and verbal abuse started when I was five and up to the present day.

They imprisoned me within the family home financially and when I finally left continued to control,overpower and brainwash me.The policeman who did a domestic violence file on my sister when she used old sets of keys in her possession to enter my home and gaslight me without my knowledge said it is difficult cos we have to take things on face value,he meant when they decide if a crime had been committed but I could also see he meant I was taken in by them cos they put on face value were showing a small degree of kindness but behind it all there was hostility,malice, manipulation and control and abuse and every time I let their version of events stick the abuse intensified and got worse.

They tried to make me so ill to drive me to suicide twice and I was seriously ill and made attempts on my life both times and there were also two further attempts which I thwarted.So yeah my family is dysfunctional and no longer exists,both mum and sister are cut out of my life now!

I could have saved myself a lot of ill health if I had looked behind what they presented on face value, and focused on the abuse and not getting them to see the error of their ways.I honestly thought they were insensitive and not good at relating not that they were doing this deliberately cos they needed me and didn't want to lose all I gave and did for them,I was totally used and abused.

In my family, depression is not something we discuss. I would say because they don't know what to say....they have no experience with it. It makes no sense to them to have something that you cannot control.

The only other family member who understands also struggles with it. We still don't talk about it because we have no reason to.

I think mental illness is still an embarrassment to a lot of people, sadly. As a society we seem rather stuck and it's a lot easier to say nothing than to fear saying something offensive or harmful.

I'm sorry your sister showed support for you and then took that support away. That's harsh.