Hopeless

Hi everyone. I'm a 24 year old male and I'm feeling very lonely and depressed recently. I'm trying my best to keep this short because I'm sure you don't want to hear the whole of it.

I'm a 24 year old male and I'm still a virgin. As of last year, I went on a few dates. The first date went really well and I got to see her a second time. We went to the pub and had a great laugh and talk and I quite liked her. But she had to go to Liverpool to study at university, so we never got a third date. The second woman I dated wasn't as pleasant as the first one because she only used me to get back at her ex (which I didn't know at the time). She was my first kiss and I'm sat here thinking why? So that didn't last long. So into November, I go on a date with a woman who really found me attractive enough to go in for many kisses by the end of the night. I was really enjoying myself. Admittedly, I did get aroused when she was kissing me. She asked if I was getting a bit erect and I said 'well yeah I am'. She continued to kiss me. We went out a second time and she decided to just kick me off as a friend.

It seems that all I'm good at, is getting hurt. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I can't take it off. It's just there all the time. When I was a child, I was bullied almost every day, even by some teachers and bus drivers. Even the council music teacher came into my school one day and grabbed me by the collar and threatened me. I'm not very good with people. I have friends, not many, but enough to keep me sane. I love my friends. All of them. I couldn't ask for beter friends because these guys are absolutely top notch and we often joke about how fun it will be when we're all in a home together. However I feel that I'd like to feel an intimate love. With a woman who I can look after and be with and who she can look after and be with also through thick and thin.

I've been talking to some women recently and with one in particular, we seemed to hit it off. However she just recently broke up with her ex boyfriend of two years and immediately joined tinder. That is where we met. We exchanged numbers and she would often text me every day on her own initiative. However, the other day, she ignored my messages and a snapchat. Only to return with 'I'm 20 and I want to have fun with my friends and go wild. I don't want to make mistakes again like I did with that abusive and controlling relationship before'. Which is fair enough. I respect that. But I bet that somewhere, she's seeing some guy who's much better looking than I and fits the bad boy personality. The kind of guy who would've bullied me in school per say. It seems that every time I get close to some form of happiness, it's like something or someone somewhere says 'No? What's this? He's happy, I don't like it, make sure he stays miserable and lonely'.

I want to have a family one day. I want to have a woman who will enter my life and become the most important part of it. To eventually become my wife. I want to hold a woman I love in my arms and tell her how she makes me feel. I want us to have kids one day and grow old together. I want there to be moments where we can hold each other in times of need and tell each other that everything is going to be alright. I know its somewhat of a cliché, but you know, thats what I want. Everyone who hurts me ends up leaving happy and I'm left by myself time after time, again and again, miserable, upset, depressed, ever more sinking into my own self loathing skin.

They say 'You can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself.' But, how can I love myself when people give me reasons not to?

I hate this type of post, but I've included photos of me. I feel unattractive. Again, I hate this because it makes me sound needy and pathetic and self pitying and like a bit of an attention seeker. But I want to know what on earth is wrong with me, that nobody wants me that way?

All advice given is very much appreciated.

Obviously you'd need to delete the spaces in the links below because I'm not allowed to post images in my first post.

https : //postimg . org/image/4mtnjaggh/
https : //postimg . org/image/bek2m55g1/
https : //postimg . org/image/524xcb2dt/

Hiya and welcome!

I can't see the pics ... you need to click on the yellow box and type the URL in there, with no spaces in order for them to come through.

I did a test run for you and the URL without spaces clicked in the yellow box doesn't work.

You might want to try out that web address again.

Good luck

simply put, you have had more dates recently than many including myself have had. do you really think that you're unattractive, considering that women do go out on dates with you? Attractiveness typically would stop things at the "asking for a date" point, not after the date is already going on. AT that point it's more a personality issue between the people on the date, which is normal, not every date you go on is going ot be successful and end up in a relationship, in fact more will fail than succeed typically. Just the nature of dating.